The best day to fall ill

Is when you have 7 deadlines to meet and you have to work from home, so you're not really off.

I need a break, and I definitely need an assistant

Back to work

Today, I returned to work after a couple of days of well earned rest (Yes, I worked from home on friday and sunday).

I had a lot of reporting to do, which - thankfully enough - was fulfilled within the designated time.

Ofcourse, there was my infamous new haircut, or lack thereof, some were surprised, some didn't recognize me at all.

The best reaction came from the receptionist, the below conversation ensued about 30 minutes after arriving at work, I found this receptionist of ours tapping me on the shoulder.

M: Shamel, you look somewhat different
Slop: Really, how so?
M: Not sure, have you lost weight?
Slop: Yep, I always lose weight when under stress.
M: Cool, you look better that way.

Then aur HR assistant walks in, without taking a second look, she goes "Hey, nice haircut."

So, our receptionist goes, "Ah, so thats's why you look different."

Anyway, this made me laugh all day, really made my day.

That was as pointless as they come dudes and dudettes, I think it's a welcome change.

The booster

Today, I managed to do something I always wanted to do, something came my way that I'd wanted for a long time.

But, I managed to say no to it, it was the right thing to do, not to take the chance when presented.

Not all of it is due to my being righteous, there was that, but there was also the fact that I was dumbstruck.

You know the dog that chases cars all his life, once a car stops infront of him, he doesn't know what to do with it.

It's the chase that attracted the dog, not the car.

Hmmm, either that or I'm the most foolish guy ever born for walking out on this one.

A little musical incident

So, I know it sounds queer, but only recently I've discovered Evanescence, I first heard them by co-incidence on someone's blog, asked a friend what that music was and she told me.

So, today, I decided I'd start listening to them, went to Youtube, looked them up, start with "My Immortal", very touching song, simple form, but touches you deep.

Anyway, here's the funny bit, my mom walked into my room, suddenly she turned around and asked me, "Since when do you listen to Evanescence".

I asked her if she knows them, she said sure, they're good.

Now, I've been closed up for a while, but up to the point where my mom knows more about recent bands than I do, interesting indeed.

I mean I know I'm very ehind on that front, but not this much behind, something needs to be done and fast, can someone recommend some other things to listen to??

The sideliner

Now he waits, the sideliner is the man left on the sideline, usually he's not involved in anything, is always kept in the dark.

Today, I am that man, kept on the sideline, very blind, can do nothing but wait and pray.

I keep looking at that phone, begging it to ring, pray for me.

10 years later, and here we go again

Lol, ok, I'm not the sort of person who values personal appearance a lot, as long as you're clean, don't smell and are not wearing green shoes to match red striped pants and dark brown hawaii shirt while smoking a cigar, you should be ok, same goes for my personal appearance.

What I do mind is how people think of me as a person, this is where I do my best to be as refined as possible. Anyway, this is not what I'm here to talk about today, the week was not as bad as last week, started very turbulently, as usual there were points to define the week, landmarks to remember this week by.

There was my birthday outing, but this was discussed in detail earlier.

Primarily I made a promise to someone to not let my anticipation of what people think, affect my decisions, I was the sort of person who'd walk into a shop, asks the price of something, then is too emarassed to say it's too expensive, I buy it anyway, then corner myself to the end of the month, not happenning again I guess.

The other thing is, I did it again, I've shaved my head, someone commented that I'd look better in shorter hair, I wanted to prove her wrong, guess what, I think I was right, long hair fits my face better, everyone else seems to think otherwise.

I'm unaccustomed to the shape of my cranium, you know, I feel like this head is not mine, it looks like an alien's head, also my nose looks much bigger now. I do look a bit aggressive though, which is a contrast to my usually mild looking self.

Hmmm, if I get used to how I look, I might actually keep it, I'll decide when it grows back, but for now, I'm happy I'm attempting to change, even if it's just looks.

Drained

You know, I'm pretty much drained, I think too much of many unrelated things, I try to relate them to each other.

It's like my thoughts are a flock of sheep, with me as the herder, You chase one, another two move out in two random directions, you can never account for all of them.

I used to find solace in long working hours followed by an exhausted sleep, not anymore, my mind keeps straying, I wanna be in multiple places simultaneously, I need to finish my work cause I'm needed somewhere else, so I'm not finishing my job as needed, which leaves me even more drained when I go next day to find that the load will increase cause I didn't get eveything done right on the first time.

Even sleeping has become a problem for me, these dreams, I'm not the sort of person who'll dream of nightmarish creatures, but my worst mightmares are usually associated with unexpected bad findings, the stuff only a sick mind like mine can imagine.

Someone commented that I'm unable to focus for the last week or so, it's very true, I never had that issue before, we'd start a conversation and mid-way I'd forget what we're talking about, yesterday my mom asked me if I wanted to have supper, I kept staring at her till she actually screamed at me "SHAMEL, SUPPER?????"

I know it annoys people, but I can't help it, my mind is wandering off in the darkest recesses of my memories.

Yesterday a friend caught me speaking to myself while driving, I had remembered an old conversation, about 6 years old, and I suddenly started repeating what I'd said and correcting my answers.

While I was driving home tonight, it suddenly struck me that I've never broken up with my ex, we suddenly stopped speaking, I was 23 at the time, I had just graduated, was too busy with work, all I remember is that I started working in July, she stopped calling me in September, I noticed in February, when I did call her, she'd already given up and gotten engaged, not that I blame her.

That's the price I paid for trying to make up ground on the career front.

When I come to think of it, maybe it's for the best, since it was obviously doomed anyway, but I think I'm the only guy to forget he has a gf, lol.

I've let a lot of people down in my younger days, maybe that's what's driving me now, I don't want to let people down again, most of all, I no longer want to let myself down.