An unexpected change of tides

This will be very long, even by my standards, don't say I didn't warn you.

I detail below a log of events that have happenned this week, I'll skip the ones that are not mine to share. (Skip to thursday, that's where all the interesting stuff is)

Weekend was a total mess, had something on my mind that had been dragging only in my head, being unable to settle it made me stick at home for most of the time, except for friday morning, I met one of my friends, then aruptly ended the meeting cause I received an SMS that really disturbed me.

Sunday started as a wonderful day, then turned into a gloomy day, something had been settled in a way I didn't want nor wish for, but atleast it's settled.

Monday was lots of work, met one of my dearest friends at night, it was a good meeting, got my mood a bit better.

Tuesday, confused, still trying to find my bearings, went to my mom's performance, best thing I did this week, as it wasn't about fulfilling what I want.

Wednesday, more work, lots of messed up mistakes at work, I'm having trouble focusing nowadays, my mind strays in different directions, it's as if I'm purposefully destroying what I built in a sort of rebellion on myself and what I believe in, it's like I'm daring HIM to strike me down, not sure when I'll get out of this mood, last time it took me 2 years, I hope I've grown enough to realise what needs to be done.

Thursday: 3 main events mark the day.

I. Our CFO came in and asked me why I was so gloomy this week, you look like you've just come back from your son's funeral my friend, he says, then walks away. I just smile stupidly at him, but it really sinks in, have I become so bad at isolating work from life, does it show that much that I'm morbid these days, I was good at putting on my mask before, what happenned??

II. I went to the ATM to draw my payroll to find they had transferred almost double my salary, I call our CFO telling him there's a mistake and whether I should withdraw the cash and return it or leave it there and instruct the bank to re-transfer the difference.

Et voila, the first good news of the week, "You've been doing really well, so we've obtained exceptional approval for you to get 1 month bonus".

This is good news, not about the money, it's about being appreciated, I've been with them since September 14th and already I'm being rewarded.

III. 7 years ago, a friend of mine had a gf, she had a friend, we met up back then, we were very interested in each other, then my friend screwed me, I was out.

3 years later I was home on a 4 day break between jobs, she came on my mind, thought I'd give her a call, she was very welcoming, we started dating for a couple of months, then she told me that she'd already been engaged when I called her.

I stopped calling her, 4 months later, she called me, told me she'd been married for a week and had discovered too late that she was in love with me, I told we couldn't speak anymore it ended there.

Today I was walking at City Stars, when I saw her, she looked as lovely as ever, and NO WEDDING RING.

I stood there like a guy who'd been thunderstruck for about 2 to 3 minutes undecided on what to do, she didn't see me and went on her way.

But I find myself asking, why am I getting all these visions of past events re-visiting me these days, why now?

So, here's what happenned during this week, a queer one, huh?