Slop Revelations

Polarity

2010-10-25T11:38:00.003+02:00

Lately I've noticed that we live in a society which has slowly moved to the edges of human conception.

On the one hand, we have the fundamentalists (Both Muslim and Christian), who seem to be preaching a return to the roots of their respective religions. However, as much as I respect the self-restraint in quelling ones desires, I do believe that to them, religion is no longer a path to take, it is simply an entity, one that that can be respected - or even followed blindly - or ridiculed.

While I do tend to understand, somehow I've found it really disturbing how they've turned their teachings into some sort of morally tangible asset, it simply gives one's beliefs the ability to be insulted - which happens everyday - or ridiculed. To them, it's simply a source of pride, nothing more, nothing less. However, they do tend to forget more fundamental aspects of their beliefs, simply cause of their inability to let their own ego go.

Then, on the other hand, there's the new trend of kids, the ones you'll see when you go to - more or less - high society outings.

These differ in one fundamental aspect, they detest religious belief in anyway, their self-restrain is quite conspicuous for its absence, they live for the moment and barely look further than tonight's outing, their pride in science and realism is quite admirable, everything is explicable that way.

Again, I do admire their courage in speaking their beliefs - or lack thereof - but I fail to see humans inside this shell, while these people are fun to be with or around, their presence is an invitation to all sorts of worldly calamities.

Their lack of self-restraint is appaling at best, disgusting at worst, they're merely shells that look like humans, nothing more, nothing less.

I have to ask myself, what happenned to our age-old traditions of mediation, what happenned to our people, why are there two swings of this pendulum?

I yearn to meet someone who I can safely interact with, without fear of their loose manners or their ferocity in defending their ideas.

I can only hope I suppose.

Define yourself

2010-10-18T18:29:00.006+02:00

I know it's been long, but somehow I'd felt like there was nothing in me to write about, ironically today, I do have something to talk about.

It's been quite stormy lately, however, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, only, sometimes it's the train that coming to run you over and get it over with.

Anyway, I'd been contemplating certain events, choices, crossroads and trying to find out whether I was right or wrong to take them, also, if I were wrong, where did I go wrong?

I sat down, remembered a few conversations that defined certain times of my life, all of a sudden it dawned on me that I had failed to actually define myself.

Some people would say it's our choices that define us, I'll take that with a pinch of salt, it must be deeper than this.

Other people will tell you that it's our aspirations, our intentions that define us, again, too theoretical for my liking.

I believe it's our boundaries that define us, not our potentials or our capabilities, it's our moral and mental boundaries, let me tell you a small story of myself when I was much younger, a 20 year old story, back from when I was 11.

I had switched schools, moved to a better school (or so my parents told me at the time), at 11, guys begin taking the transition into adulthood (Physical ofcourse), the time when you're waiting for your beard to grow, waiting to go out on your first date, waiting for the first time you wake up and find you ejaculated while you were asleep, forgive the wording, but I'm not in a mood to pick my words.

Naturally, it varies from one guy to another, some take the transition at 11, others later on, but that's not what I'm here to discuss, what I'm here to discuss is the mental change that goes with it, the ego growth for a boy who feels he's now a man.

First thing I noticed at my new school is that there were gangs amongst the students, I was the new comer, so I wasn't in any of the gangs/coalitions, then came the first fight, like in-mates in a prison, testing the mettle of the new comer, I still remember the guy who picked the fight, he was a short scrawny fellow, I was quite large for my age, naturally I beat him, I was taller and heavier, he stood no chance, then followed his gang, and for the first time I was exposed to a gang beating for 5 minutes I lay on the floor being kicked by 7 or 8 guys, some pulled their belts and started whipping me with them, my best hope was to cover my face and my eyes.

Next week, another fight similar to the first, different names, different faces, same scenario.

I did notice though, that there was another guy who nobody seemed to touch, he wasn't particularly strong, but they all let him be, for some reason this guy had the space and he also inspired fear in them.

Until one day ( 3 years later) I asked him how come he was left unmolested, when people would come from different buildings to pick on me even though I was fitter than him and a better fighter, and he gave me the answer.

" Cause you're a coward, you beat one of them, but you never make any of them bleed, you never hurt, you simply subdue, so they know that you're not dangerous to fight with, they'll beat you and you'll tickle them, you're too scared to draw out blood, too scared to hurt."

Next week, I had another fight, but this time I decided I wasn't going to be so soft anymore, I nearly killed one of them, I can still remember how I kept banging his head on a wall.

Next week, another fight, same scenario, except this time it was in the street in front of school and I threw the guy in front of a moving car.

Lo and behold, nobody came my way anymore.

I, too decided not to fight again, and I haven't, last time I fought I was 15, after that I was simply not interested in fighting, I'd let insults pass, cause I was simply not interested, I knew that if I let my temper rise again, I'd cause someone some serious harm and I had a future to look out for.

Now, jumping forward 16 years later, I still have a boundary, I never ever cross it, in verbal confrontations ofcourse, but somehow I'm beginning to wonder if I should for once let loose all the anger, if I should overlook my own standards and hit back, way below the belt, like everyone's doing to me, how would I feel?

The more important question is, how will I define myself after this eruption, what will I lose and what will I gain, or will I simply lose without gaining?

What do you think?

Vini, Vidi

2009-08-31T21:25:00.002+02:00

Just some disjointed thoughts of some things I see in people all around.

I see people battling to prove something that was proved long ago, take the next step and act instead of looking astonished.

I see people who are described as honest, is honest the right word or is rude a more fitting description?

I see some people who've lost things that were never their's, to them I say, you lose you learn, be careful who you stand up against next time.

I see ghosts of the past rising, to them I say, that was long ago, in the past you belong, in the past you stay.

I see a beautiful smile, keep it up, it's the only thing that makes it worth it.

I see a desperate soul, to you I say, you taught me not to despair, do you really need a lesson from me?

I see alien thoughts, some are good, some are bad, to all of us I say, treat them like you'd treat a snake, milk it for it's poison, but remember that at the end of the day it's still a poison, never ever forget that

A trip down memory lane

2009-08-03T08:44:00.003+03:00

Well, today I drove the wifey to work, then headed to my own work.

Just as I dropped her off, I had this urge to listen to this CD that the wifey had gotten me back from Prague, I pulled over, walked to the trunk, looked for it and found it.

I played it and suddenly I was back 8 months in time to the day she gave me that CD, I remembered every day of the month before she accepted my proposal of marriage.

Each and every single track of this CD has a memory for me, some good and some painful, but it was a good feeling re-visiting that period, remembering every word, every smile and every car trip I had listening to this music.

Strange what music does, don't you think ?

Quote of the day

2009-07-17T19:47:00.003+03:00

A blind man knows not the difference between those who push him to excel and those who push him to his doom.

El 2a3ma elli yenaggesoh zay elli yewaddeeh (Toned down for the female audience)

Peace

2009-07-15T09:45:00.002+03:00

Strange really how a man changes in such short time lapses.

I remember a different me, no more than a year ago, someone who had ambitions, was always looking for change, on a constant look-out for exotic life-styles, I was on a journey of self-fulfillment then.

Things have changed greatly ever since, I'm a changed man, looking for steadiness, avoiding trouble, not sticking out of the crows and with no ambitions except to carry on with normal life at a steady slow pace.

Perhaps my age is finally starting to show, maybe it's the gratification of taking a large leap, or maybe now I have a lot to lose, so I'm preserving.

At any rate, I'm now enjoying the luxurious slow rhythm of life, which - I think - is good.

Mixed up ideals

2009-07-13T09:38:00.002+03:00

Whatever happenned to this world, is being polite considered hypocricy?!!!

Have we - as a people - reached the point of confusing honesty with rudeness and recklessness?!!!

Is a person two-faced cause he was too embarassed to refuse a favour but wasn't happy about doing it?!!!

Is a person honest and courageous for speaking proudly of his sins without resenting or quitting them??!!!!

Wake up people, or we're all going down the drain (Even further).

Corrosion

2009-07-13T08:53:00.001+03:00

Corrosion can be defined as the disintegration of a material into its constituent atoms due to chemical reactions with its surroundings

Some thinking

2009-07-12T09:12:00.003+03:00

I've been reading a few blogs recently, some of them known for their frequency of updates and others for their gore and total contempt of other's beliefs.

Now, I will not go as far as denying people the freedom of expressing their own opinions, I will not even dignify the views presented on these blogs by discussing them here or anywhere.

I will, however point some views on how the owners of these blogs handle their posts.

1. Being against an idea or presenting a contradicting idea does not necessarily mean degreading the concept you are addressing by constantly bombarding other people's beliefs, affiliations or tendencies, in doing so, you degrade both yourself and the idea you're presenting.

2. In people's attempts to un-dignify or de-throne an idea, they have gone as far as breaking their own rules, now this - in my humble opinion - shows the author for what they are, I leave that for your imagination.

3. Some people keep complaining about the current state of events in general, I agree, things might be bad, maybe even worse than described, but, have you offered an alternative, NO, instead, you've just highlighted something already highlighted, so either present an answer or leave the matter untouched, no need to re-open already decaying wounds, you'll only spread mal-content and not offer a solution.

That's it for today.

Back

2009-06-22T08:17:00.002+03:00

Yep, I'd been too busy to blog for the last couple of months due to marriage preparations and all, was a hectic period that one, but well worth the efforts.

I'm sitting now at my new home, enjoying a morning smoke (Unfortunately, I'm unable to operate the stove, so no coffee till SoU wakes up), found some french pastry though, it was good.

I guess that's the lamest attempt anyone's seen at returning to blogging, but I'll be back later, with a serious post.

Ciao peeps

C L E A N S I N G

2009-05-31T22:50:00.003+03:00

So, the cleansing begins, for me and my own.

In a way I expected this, a little earlier than expected, but it happenned.

Guess it's better this way, wipe the slate clean and start afresh.

It is during these times that the mettle of people shows, somehow, most have behaved as I expected they would, no disappointments there, they did exactly what I expected them to do, for better or worse.

You see, I've always thought that every stage of life will be through tremendous change, change that is somewhat bordering on turning into an operation.

In tarot decks, death is usually a welcome card, it signifies change, usually to the better, perhaps now I'm passing through this phase of death, in its good meaning.

Octagonal Tag

2009-05-21T09:30:00.002+03:00

Looks like I've been tagged yet again by Sou,

8 things I'm looking forward to:

1. Getting married in 3 ISA

2. Moving in with Sou.

3. Taking a fun 2 weeks with nothing on my mind except enjoying the moment.

4. Changing my choice of clothes on certain items :D

5. My cousin's return in August.

6. Get a break from all this driving.

7. My mom to stop approaching me about marriage details whenever she sees me.

8. Sou's Birthday.

8 Things I did Yesterday:

1. Sent my weekly reporting on time.

2. Looked for something for Sou's Mom.

3. Ate Ginger Biscuits.

4. Received the weekly update on something I don't wanna know.

5. Prepared the house budget.

6. Made a lot of trade deals in Stars-Empire .

7. Slept like a log for the first time in a while.

8. Made a few needed phone calls.

8 Things I wish I could do:

1. Be unreachable for a year, just me and Sou.

2. Visiting Rome.

3. Be promoted to manager next year.

4. Be able to spare Sou the hassle of working in a job she doesn't like.

5. Telekineses.

6. Undo some old mistakes.

7. Be a bit more couth in my choice of words.

8. Not allow people to embarass into doing stuff I don't want to do.

8 Shows I watch:

Duh....

8 Things I love:

1. Life finally has a purpose.

2. The light at the end of the tunnel.

3. Classical Music.

4. Gaming.

5. The idea of living with Sou.

6. The fact that someone no longer has an influence on me.

7. How God has been watching over me.

8. The Sea at dusk.

8 Bloggers I tag:

1. Brownie.

2. The.i.inside.

3. Abdel Salam.

4, 5, 6, 7 & 8, I'd like to thank my mom and dad, the fans and everyone who has voted for me to win the lamer of the year award, and I dedicate this trophy to all the mehayyeseen in the country.

Quote of the moment

2009-05-20T11:42:00.003+03:00

"Look to my coming at first light of the fifth day, at dawn, look to the east"

Gandalf the White

Been Long

2009-05-01T07:39:00.002+03:00

That's right peeps, it has been long since I last posted, I guess it's because things are stabilising, thanks to Sarah's presence.

It has been occurred to me that I only blog when I'm down, however, when I'm stable, or pre-occupied with other matters, I simply find nothing to blog about.

Sarah has been very supportive recently, yes, there have been the occasional bursts from both sides, but this is expected at this stage and we never make the same mistakes again (We come up with brand new ones for that matter).

We're opening up to each other, which I believe is very healthy, this relationship is forming up into the sanctuary we have to share our pains and fears, as well as our joys and precious moments, so on that front, I can say I couldn't be happier.

You see, for me this has been a dream, a dream I had been too scared to realise for so long, so when I finally had the gutts to grab what I want, I could do nothing but savour every precious moment.

I guess that's all I have to say, words fail me when it comes to her, I guess music would be a more able tool when it comes to being with Sarah, words simply are not enough.

Interesting Conversation

2009-04-18T07:47:00.002+02:00

Yesterday being Friday, I took Sarah and the carpenter to take some measurements of the kitchen at our place, on the way back, Sarah received a very interesting phone call from her brother, here goes the details of the conversation:

Sarah: Alo

Brother: ....

Sarah: Aywa

Brother: ....

Sarah: Ah

Brother: ....

Sarah: Ah

Brother: ....

Sarah: mmm

Brother: ....

Sarah: la2

Brother: ....

Sarah: Aywa

Brother: ....

Sarah: ana 5 da2aye2 w'ab2a fi l beit.

As everyone can see, it's a very informative conversation, why was I laughing so much after, beats me

Back

2009-04-15T14:18:00.003+02:00

Well, since a fellow blogger called me telling me that it's been long since last I blogged, I decided to write something, anything, just to keep this page alive.

So here goes a very boring update.

Basically I've been engulfed in a world of carpenters, electricians and tinkers.

Also, there's been a lot of Sarah going on, I really enjoy the times we spend together, they're the highlight of the day for me, the thing that I look forward to, I miss her when she's not around even if I've just left her side 1 hour ago.

Parents are also a big part of life now, both families, most of the time with good input and positive attitudes, but then again, the occasional nagging.

I guess that's it, as boring as promised.

Pants Down

2009-04-08T11:23:00.002+02:00

Yep, that's right, I was caught with my pants down at work.

My beautiful sub-ordinate screwed up in one of our reports and I've failed to spot the error, the report was sent, decisions were taken based upon it.

Luckily the error wasn't big, the impact won't be impairing, but I hate to send wrong figures.

Nobody's spotted it and it's highly unlikely that anyone ever will.

But the fact remains that it could've been a grave error that would've lost us some real money.

I'm obliged to review his work in a more detailed manner going forward, which is practically like re-doing his work.

Meanwhile, I'll probably give him one last ultimatum to pull his act together.

Into the fray

2009-04-07T13:17:00.002+02:00

I guess we were all given a barrel full of shit and honey at the beginning of our lives and were told to eat it all, once it's done, our life ends.

Some went with the obvious, peeled through the shit, ate all the honey and are now left with the shit to finish for the rest of their lives, for example people who took the easy way back in their teens, flunking college, living on women (or guys), drugs and liquor.

Some went with the more conservative approach of taking all the shit when they were younger to get all the honey when they grow older, for example people who had long nights working on their projects or jobs, postponing their own leisure time for later on.

Then there were those who went hand in hand on both ways, or took different stages, eating through the shit for long times then re-surfacing for some honey every once in a while, to help them carry on.

I know I've adopted the third approach, atleast for the last 6 years, it's worked for me, I look around me and I see people of all approaches.

To them I say, your choices, your lives, some may think they deserve better, some may look back and regret, some may be content with their current lives as they are.

But are you really happy with what you've done so far, do you have something to look forward to?

If you've wasted so much time immersed in shit, but you have something to look forward to, some light at the end of the tunnel, you're on the right track.

If you've enjoyed your life earlier but are suffering now, well, you took a downpayment, perhaps it's time to settle your bills.

If you've always been about taking shit, and still haven't found a purpose for life, then perhaps it's time you went looking for one.

When everything goes wrong

2009-04-05T13:08:00.003+02:00

Ok, Sunday is the highlight of the week work-wise, I have 8 deadlines to meet on that day, so I like to arrive early at work on Sundays.

Today is one of those days where everything goes wrong:

1. The junior of the department showed up 90 minutes late (Why am I not surprised?), well, I anticipated that, so I started on his work for him so as not to create a bottle-neck, but when will he learn to be responsible?

The nice thing is when I told him to make sure to arrive on time on Sundays, he was furious, he went like "Should I wake up at 6 A.M.?".

well, I'm not asking him for something that I don't do, I wake up at 6 A.M., it's business (2akl 3eish), why the hell can't he understand that?!!!!

2. Logistics had a back-log, so they finished late, which means I start working on their reports at 11 A.M., WTF?!!!!

3. The god-damned system is down when it comes to those reports I was waiting for, how am I supposed to work, I've been sitting waiting for the generation of those reports for nearly 2 hours now, these are what I build my work on, I can't start without them.

This is just great!!!!!

Some music for a change

2009-04-03T10:19:00.003+02:00

I noticed yesterday night that my mom was a bit depressed, so I had a little sitting with her today, ofcourse, the only ground we have in common these days is music, so we sat with Youtube, listening to some oldies.

I suddenly remembered a song that was for a very long time - about 13 years ago - my all time favourite.

I know it's an oldie, out of fashion and some people will find it lame, but till today, this song really means something to me, I leave you with Girl - The Beatles.

Is there anybody going to listen to my story

All about the girl who came to stay

She's the kind of girl you want so much it makes you sorry

Still you don't regret a single day

Ah, Girl (*2)

When I think of all the times I tried so hard to leave her

She will turn to me and start to cry

And she promises the earth to me and I'd believe her

After all this time I don't know why

Ah, Girl (*2)

She's the kind of girl who'll put you down

When friends are there you feel a fool

When they say she's looking good, she acts as if it's understood

She's cool

Girl (*2)

Was she told when she was young that fame would lead to pleasure?

Did she understand it when they said?

That a man must break his back to earn his day of leisure

Does she still believe it when he's dead

Ah, Girl (*2)

April's fool

2009-04-01T07:17:00.002+02:00

Today is the first of April, the best day for practical jokes, let the fun begin *Evil Grin*

Human Mind

2009-04-01T07:02:00.004+02:00

Strange this mind of our's is, here's what I found out recently.

I've had some hearing problems for the last 4 years, my right ear seems to be slowly fading away, people who know me notice that I hear better when you're on my left side.

Anyway, about 10 days ago I discovered that I'd been reading sub-consciously reading people's lips for quite some time, this happenned when I was sitting with Sarah, she was speaking, I could understand every words, then she decided to have a puff of her cigarette, so her hand obscured her lips from my sight, the one word she said in that moment was the only one I didn't get in that sentence.

I've been experimenting ever since, this was confirmed last friday at the concert me and Sarah attended, I couldn't hear the voclist quite well, I knew Sarah was singing along beside me, so I just turned around and started reading the lyric from her lips.

How long I've had this, I have no clue, but obviously I learned it unknowingly and probably it's been there for a long time, strange, right?

Another strange thing is that I've confirmed another thing that I'd doubted about me, I tend to overly lose focus and absent-minded when I'm feeling down or something is pre-occupying me.

The last time this happenned, I kept on holding a door while it was being closed till it actually closed on my hand, hmmmm.

Looks like my head is where everything else is, both good and bad.

Maybe I'm telepathic as well, or I can do some telekinesis, who knows, the possibilities are quite staggering.

That was it dudes and dudettes for today, nothing special, just plain weird.

Pheonix

2009-03-30T09:36:00.002+02:00

Looks like suffering is the real furnace in which we are all thrown to be molded into realising our true potentials.

I remember every scar, every hardship and every gauntlet I've had to run.

I remember the bitterness, confusions and frustrations, how I sometimes succumbed, how on other occasions I knew deep inside that it was a passing phase.

But I also remember how I waited for these phases to end, they never did unless when I stopped waiting, looks like in waiting I'm judging Him.

But at the end of the day, I emerged out of this furnace battle-scarred and harder to break.

Like a pheonix rising out of the ashes, more potent than ever.

Where had I gone

2009-03-28T09:11:00.003+02:00

I have no clue what triggerred these events in the last few days.

I had been feeling really down, over-stressed, unappreciated and isolated.

This had led me to do stupid things like picking fights with everyone, my inability to take the lightest of practical jokes and a certain un-craving for life in general, I even beat one of my colleagues at work.

My temper was getting out of hand to the extent that I was called last thursday to the C.F.O.'s office asking me to leave earlier than usual as I was causing too many problems, he told me to go fix my own problems over the weekend and come back on sunday with a clearer head.

Well, I am glad to announce that it was all in my head, nothing more, nothing less.

Certain attitudes around me were stepping on my nerves, cause of my usual habit of associating different - sometimes unrelated - events together to try and form a pattern.

I was getting the wrong patterns.

Anyway, I'm back, I hope permanently this time.

Hunger

2009-03-27T15:22:00.002+02:00

Yes, I'm hungry, lunch is late today.

I decided to dose for a while till lunch and had a funny dream.

I dreamt I was visited by a friend of mine who asked me to go with him on an errand, upon entering his car I found his dog in the backseat.

We entered a restaurant and he ordered steaks for the dog.

I sat there watching the dog eat and was awfully hungry.

Then I woke up with the odour of grilled steaks filling my nostrils.

Looks like that's what we're having for lunch today.

I'm off to catch the steaks.

Waiting

2009-03-27T10:11:00.004+02:00

Bad news travels fast, that's the only thing that's keeping me sane.

Attendance

2009-03-25T09:50:00.003+02:00

It has come to my attention that suddenly they've instructed the company's security to write our names down upon entering and leaving the company.

Now, to me, this is insulting, I do not need a security guy to monitor my movement, we're grown ups, task-oriented professionals, we shouldn't be held to time schedules, and sure as hell, I shouldn't be put under surveillance by some security guy.

They have time stamped ID's, we stamp on our way in and on our way out, this is sufficient.

Upon confronting the HR manager with this, he asked me the most stupid question ever.

"And what if you've given your ID to someone else to stamp for you?"

Now this is unheard of, if you don't trust us enough to finish our jobs and abide by the working hours, then just fire us, terminate our contracts, but this is insulting.

Honestly, have we reached the point where our employer distrusts us so much?

And for the record, I - complainer - happen to be the first one who shows up at the company premises, but I still find it insulting and degrading.

Mentally Cohesive

2009-03-24T10:22:00.002+02:00

As some of you know, I have an online gaming addiction, I've formed a small collective of similar players, lately we've been joined by this Japanese guy.

Tbh, I'm having difficulty understanding what he has to say, his English is good, but his logic in forming sentences definitely defies my logic in understanding them, the below is a typical message of his:

Standard deviation is not acceptable for general climate variability.
It can be used if climate variation spectrum is "white".
Generally this planet climate is "ringing" with several resonances, or cicles, making standard deviation meaningless.

This was in response to a question I was asking about what the US foreign policy was headed with this world.

Can anyone help me understand what he's trying to say???

Boring day

2009-03-23T14:11:00.003+02:00

Today is the aftermath of Sunday's storm, that's the problem with my job, I get everything cramped in one day, lots of deadlines, then absolute and utter emptiness of schedule.

I become "ta7t el talab".

So far, today looks like a quiet day, nothing is expected to happen.

Guess it's a day for Sudoku, reading blogs and playing online games.

Or maybe I should start pulling people's legs, become abusive, I haven't been abusive in a while.

Guess I'll just be content with giving the junior a hard time, maybe some push-up's are in order *Evil Grin*

Honestly, any ideas to fill up this boring day?

Choices, tests, predicaments, whatever you choose to call them

2009-03-19T07:29:00.003+02:00

I was reading Insomniac's post, it struck the nail on the head

This is something I'd been considering writing about for a long time, I was going to reply to the post, but found that the comment was too long, so I'm moving it to this post.

My father always holds a sort of intellectual saloon at our place, to these gatherings are invited people who represent the cream of the intellectual society in Egypt, when I was 14 I was allowed to attend if I felt like it, my father thought it was a good idea to help my mental growth if I got acquainted with older people, he was trying to replace my friends with his.

Needless to say, it never worked in that way, but the conversations I attended were quite enlightening, I remember this one in particular, I was 15 at the time, so most of the details were overlooked, but I'm including the essence of it.

The 2 people involved were my father (Referred to as S) and a well known Egyptian writer who's well known for his atheist beliefs (Referred to as C).

S: So you believe stealing is wrong under all circumstances?

C: Absolutely

S: And if it can't be helped, if circumstances give you no other option?

C: No such thing, there's always a way around it.

S: And if you're poor, you have a sick wife and a hungry child?

C: I'll learn a trade and work

S: And if you fail to find work to provide for them?

C: Atleast we'll all die knowing that I did the right thing.

S: I sincerely pray to God that you never have to be put to that test.

Now, back to how this brief conversation affected me.

Like C, I believed there was always a way to preserve your integrity, yes, you pass through hardships, but whenever you overcome them in tact, your mettle shows for what it really is, this is a common concept for most faiths, the theory of tests as I prefer to refer to it, right?

Wrong!!

There is another more subtle way to look at it, God is very subtle in teaching us what we need to learn, failing to notice those subtle lessons, leads us to phase 2, phase 2 is much more violent, Life is violent, only by His grace are we safge within it, unscathed.

What would happen if life is let loose on us, believe me, none of us can handle it, it keeps on coming back at you, like a relentless enemy, whenever you fight it off, it comes back at you, you cannot hold life at bay.

However, this is not the end of it, this is the less subtle way of telling you something is wrong, something is missing, you need to review your stance towards your surroundings in general and your inner self in particular, the answer lies there, nothing will avail you unless you go back to putting those in order.

Usually what happens is we resort to the easier explanations, like the test, or being away from God, not praying, not doing our charity work, it's in fact usually something more subtle than that, something far simpler, but something much harder to alter, it's something to do with your inner conflicts, with what you've taken for granted.

Allow me to tell you a couple of stories.

The first one dates back to about 5 years ago, my first year of work, back to when I thought myself to be a righteous person who will not lie to protect himself, youth arrogance you may choose to call it.

I was faced with a work situation in which I had to lie to cover my own mistakes, now to me, this was unheard of, I never was a liar, I'm not about to start now, well, things started to get ugly, there was a genuine possibility that I may lose my job.

Guess what, I bailed out, I didn't lie, but I kept on going in circles till I could find an alternative job, then resigned and let my colleagues handle my mess, luckily they managed to wrap it up.

But the fact remains, when I was cornered, I didn't man up to my mistakes, I let someone else take the shit and I ran away.

Lesson learned, you're not as gorgeous as you prefer to think, you just haven't been pushed back far enough, your first test, you failed miserably.

I was about to lie to protect myself, and at the 11th hour, God offered me an alternative, a lifeline to cling onto, He led me to safety, but not till I learned the lesson was I offered this lifeline.

The other story is far more recent, it dates back about 1 year, also work related, looks like God tests us where we're strongest, another lesson to be learned, don't trust your strengths.

In my field of work, I used to pride myself at being the best, the one who was always head-hunted, after my first job, I was approached with offers, I didn't have to look for a job, jobs offered themselves to me, life couldn't get any better on the career front, I'm making very good money, am doing something I like, it's a matter of time till I reach the top.

Anyway, my boss at the time was an old friend of mine, he asked for the HR to hire me, offer me whatever it takes to get me to make the move.

I was welcomed with open arms, was given a lot of privileges, until the day came when me and my boss feel apart, we let our pride get in the way, both of us, we were equally guilty.

He decided to fire me, but was looking for a replacement, I got word of it through people I know in the HR department, so I decided to spite him by just finding another job and leaving him alone to handle the work till he could find a replacement.

Now lo and behold, I couldn't find a job, however good I proved to be, something always went wrong, I was rejected in all my applications for different reasons, I'm either over-qualified, over-budget, interviewed by someone I'd screwed long ago, my contact left the company on 2 occasions, I was even not up to standards in one application, on another occasion, they just decided they didn't need the vacancy, budget cutting at its worst.

Ok, here I am, stuck in a company with a boss that hates my gutts, wants to fire me, I'm not welcome in my office, my contract will expire in 6 months, and won't be renewed, crisis at its peak.

Worse still, all my contacts, all my skills, however a good person I am is of no avail, where have I gone wrong, how do I get out??

Despair was the theme for the next 5 months, I knew there was nothing I could do anymore, I'd tried everything I know.

Till one day I had a conversation with this guy (my boss), we were very open, 2 enemies coming to the table to offer terms, it went superficially well, but I knew that still inside, he wasn't satisfied, he wanted to break me, to humiliate me, however one word he told me that really pierced through, that's a direct quote.

"You know, I've known you for very long, you were always good at what you do, whatever path you took, roads would open up to you, your talent with numbers is undeniable, you're very straight forward, very honest, but, you one word comes to mind when I see you "Laho fi 7'alkehe 7ekam", you do not deserve the gift God has given you, you do not deserve your talents, God gave you everything and you throw it all in his face cause you're impatient for more, you want more cause you believe you deserve more, you've become so conceited that nothing satisfies you anymore, go out, seek more, you'll never get it, cause you got what you deserved."

Well, it was then that it struck me, I had taken the gifts God gave me for granted, I considered them mine, not something that can be taken away, or worse, something that I can't use unless I was granted permission to use it, unless Rabbena Ye2mor.

It was then that I made the choice that I'm to look no more, to let go of my pride, to accept humility as it comes, it is God's will that at this stage I should taste humility, I should learn to live with the fact that nothing I do will help me unless He grants it.

2 weeks later, my boss resigned, I was off the leash, he was replaced by someone who re-instated me in my position, gave me all my privileges back and treated me fairly.

1 month more, I was contacted by the company that had decided they didn't want anyone in that position anymore, they had changed their minds and were actively recruiting me, at very decent terms, life was again looking brighter.

Now, it's always been like that for me, life would close up, all paths would be blocked, until I learned what was wrong with me, when I knew what was wrong and accepted it as a short-coming in me, things would open up again.

This is what I've picked along the way, I may be wrong, maybe what applies to me doesn't apply to the next guy, let's discuss.

Purgatory

2009-03-17T21:25:00.003+02:00

I was reading some of my old posts, I like to re-visit my past, usually not so recent, but this time these were recent events.

As most of you know my blog only dates back about 6 months, so the feelings in there are still "fresh", if fresh is the right word to use.

Somehow, I always found serenity in re-visiting events, whether happy or sad events.

True, the last period was very turbulent, with lots of ups and downs, I had to throw away a lot of rudimentary elements of my life, the extraction was not easy, but I think it was well worth it.

The sacrifices that were made by some parties involved are well remembered and - hopefully - will be repaid, if I manage to get around to it.

The treacheries will also be well remembered, a lot of people showed their true colours.

But this is not what I'm here to speak of.

Along this brief period, I discovered that some people actually understood me more than my closest friends, more than my family even.

I also discovered that I'm no exception, I can be an ass when properly upset.

One of the most important things that I've found out is that I no longer need to go around in circles to get what I want, it was a major issue with me, I never ask for anything, I want it to be offered to me.

Last but not least I discovered that one sentence has turned my world around, to the better, this sentence made me know that I no longer need to bear with human parasites, it also made up my mind as to what I need to pursue.

One word can best describe the last 6 months, it's a word we all hate or dread, but it best describes it, "Purgatory"

Exhausted

2009-03-16T14:49:00.002+02:00

Yes, I am, after re-doing the work of the last 11 weeks within the last 2 days.

God bless last minute changes.

Anyway, I think I'm done, hopefully, I won't need to do this for the 4th time.

Just random

2009-03-11T07:54:00.002+02:00

Nothing in particular to speak of, just some random updates.

I really need a vacation, however, I doubt it'll be possible, as I'm saving my vacation balance till I get married.

My subordinate is getting better, he started to get the feel of the numbers finally, and is able to judge their integrity, he still tries to show off though, guess only time will change that.

Two people showed their true colours both to me and to others, why am I not surprised?

I'll start next week transferring more work to the new guy, he needs to be ready to handle things on his own for when I'm married.

I had some sleeping issues last week, but finally I can sleep again, with nothing that needs me to analyze numerous events and conversations.

I'm trying to quit some bad habits that I developed along the way, first on my list is smoking and over-cautiosness when it comes to speaking, already the second one is being dealt with, however, as I expected, I'm turning into a very big stone shooter "madab kebeer awy", next thing I'll be walking over to a 40 year old lady asking her if she's a natural D cup or are these implants?

Curiosity is a big issue as well, so far I'm handling this by resisting asking about stuff, hope it turns into a habit, instead of it being a controlled refrain of impulse.

The extra effort - both physically and psychologically - I've been putting lately is starting to take its toll on my physique, I'm losing weight rapidly, am always sleepy and my cigarette intake has increased, leaving me with recurring coughing fits.

One last thing remains unresolved, the power struggle at work ended, not cause it's apparent what everyone got, but cause everyone saw that it wasn't getting resolved soon and decided to preserve their energy for round 2, when that will be, nobody knows.

Suddenly time started acting strangely, the days pass slowly in the morning, fast at night, the days as a whole passes really slowly, but the weeks fly, I'm not sure if this makes sense even to me.

I guess that's it, nothing more on my mind.

Of Love

2009-03-05T09:34:00.003+02:00

Whether you're in love with your parents, brothers, sisters, wife or kids, the concept never changes, the circumstances might vary, but that's it.

A regular misconception of love is wanting to be close to someone, it's far deeper than that, love is about not failing your loved ones, to be there when they most need you, to put aside all your differences for the greater cause.

When the shit hits the fan and you're on your own, facing a world of fear and uncertainty, that's when the mettle shows, that's when you tell the boys from the men.

When you're caught in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but your own meagre resources, that's when those who love you are there.

So, don't be fooled about love, it's a dangerous thing, it's the stuff that makes prey show itself to its predators to draw their attention from its children.

Wherever you are, whoever you are, find out those who love you and cling to them, they're pure gold, only you'll never appreciate them till you need them and they don't disappoint.

I found out mine, have you?

About Me

2009-03-04T09:29:00.003+02:00

I've decided to put some stuff in here that I rarely speak of:

1. I'm not a racist, someone hinted it years ago, we all know him for a liar on many occasions, but this one stuck, I repeat, I'm not a racist, hinting at it offends me.

2. I come from a family that is regularly referred to as "Old Money" or "Aristocrats", this does not mean that I feel superior to people or that I look down on them, it simply means that by society standards I'm well raised and well mannered.

3. I over categorise people according to what they do, 90% of manual labourers are thieves and are smelly, when I deal with one of them, I bear this in mind until he proves me wrong, I hate it when someone keeps reminding me that they're human, I never treated them otherwise in the first place.

4. I have a very good memory, I rarely forget what I'd been told, even if I'm drunk, I remember most things that happenned as far back as when I was 3 or 4 years old.

5. I'm easily embarassed, you ask me to do someone a favour while the concerned party is present, I'll do it even if I don't want to, later I'll mention it to you, that is not rubbing it in people's face, it's simply me having to do something I'm not happy about.

6. I refuse help from people who refuse my help, it's indecent of me to accept such help.

7. Silence kills me, it usually means something is brewing behind the scenes, usually unpleasant.

8. I used to be a very social character, now I merely maintain a pretence of being social so as not to offend.

9. I have a knack for correcting people, since I was a kid, I always noticed deformities in anything, lately, I've started working on it cause I noticed that it's quite offensive, I don't want to be offensive just to satisfy my own arrogance about how great I am.

10. I'm quite cynical, sometimes about stuff that can't be helped, stuff like stupidity or lisping, I usually look and laugh silently, sometimes I make jokes or practical jokes, in most cases this is done when I'm being cynical about someone who actually finds it quite funny himself, it becomes an ongoing joke between us, nothing offensive about that.

11. I like people who do stuff to change the world and make it a better place, I don't like them to take each and every possible opportunity to try and convert me to their cause, the educational message is too much for me.

12. I tremendously dislike selfish people, in fact I disapprove of the fact that they're still alive, I do consort with them though, again, to keep socially acceptable, no more, no less.

13. I'm quite silent about stuff that hurt or offend me, I may hint at something a couple of times, but I rarely come right out and speak about it, in my case, speaking about something that offends me doesn't mean it's the first time, it means that you've been warned through numerous hints before and that I'm on the verge of explosion, when dealing with me, rad a lot between the lines, that's where the meaningful stuff is.

14. I'm not a chauvenist, however, I'm anti-feminist, there's a slight difference.

15. Control is never an issue with me, I don't seek it and don't respect people who seek it, one of the most known methods of subduing someone is insisting on reminding him of his weaknesses or of events he's doing his best to ignore or forget.

16. My mood rarely shows in my facial expressions or in my voice, if it does show, it means I'm this close to pulling an axe and splitting someone's head open

17. When I do explode, it's not pleasant to either me or the party in whose face I exploded, the other party hates me, cause I usually aim to really hurt, and I usually fall ill after my rare explosions.

I have no idea why I wrote this, but these are thoughts I got while I was driving to work today, so I decided to write them down.

What the hell are you doing here?

2009-03-03T09:25:00.003+02:00

This just happenned as I went into Cilantro Mohandesseen.

I needed to take a leak, so I walked over to the men's room, pushed the door, to find this guy pissing.

He turned around towards me - dick in hand and all - absolutely angry.

"Hasn't anyone taught you to knock?"

I just apologised and closed the door, I didn't even bother correcting him, if he can't know the difference between a loo at home and one in a cafe, he's in enough trouble, without me adding insult to injury.

Musical Tag

2009-03-02T22:06:00.002+02:00

Looks like I was branded through the rump to do this one

RULES:

1. Put your iTunes/music player on Shuffle,

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer,

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!

After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do them themselves.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?

Anywhere - Evanescense (Hmmmm)

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

The King of the Golden Hall - Howard Shore - Lord of the Rings Soundtrack (Not bad for starters)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Rebirth - Abney Park (Huh????!!!)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Wash it all away - Evanescense (At work, yes)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?

Souvenirs - Demis Roussos (Shit, that's too flirty, even by my tastes)

6. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Damir Abla Hekmat - Omar Khairat (Yes, I am their living conscience)

7. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

Taking over me - Evanescense (They keep trying, yes they do)

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

The World is not Enough - Original Soundtrack (I'm a fairly content person, honestly, I am)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Ever Loved a Woman - Bryan Adams (Well, she was my best friend before we were engaged)

10. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Esperanza - Charles Aznavour (If only I knew what he was telling her, but knowing Aznavour, he's desperately in love with her )

11. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Tiny Monster - Abney Park (Hmmm, only one tiny monster, but he no longer runs my life)

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Fallen - Evenescense (That's creepy, yikes!!!)

13. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

A Great Day for Freedom - Pink Floyd (I hope I misunderstood that one)

14. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Lies - Evenescense (That's even worse than Fallen)

15. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

The Shadow of Life - Abney Park (That's befitting, I guess)

16. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Child King - Abney Park (Now I'm lost)

17. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Le Voyage - Enrico Macias (Well, there was once this trip I took, on which I .... but that's another story)

18. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Forgive me - Evanescense (A sign, maybe?)

19. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?

Airship Pirate - Abney Park (Yeah, right)

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURSELF?

Paroles, Paroles, Paroles - Dalida (That's just about right, I always object)

I tag the usual suspects Brownie, The.i.inside and Insomniac

Black Coffee

2009-03-01T09:44:00.003+02:00

Nothing I hate more than drinking black morning coffee, but looks like I'll have to make do, since they have no milk at the office :(

Swamped, cornered, choking

2009-02-27T09:28:00.003+02:00

Looks like life is not about what I want anymore, it's again back to keeping everyone else happy.

I don't even have time of my own, everyone has to put in their sixpence on the apartment preparations for my upcoming marriage, how to handle things, what to do, what not to do.

I hate this, everyone wants to invite us or wants us to invite them.

I want to get this all over with and concentrate on more important things, like building a home, like building a life, but hell, no, everyone keeps swamping me with details, with phone calls, with early morning discussions while I'm having a leak.

Damn it people, I want no advice, no details, I hate details, I changed my job cause I hate details, I don't want to hear the words money of pound anymore, just release me.

I want my own time, my own life, I want to go home and speak of something other than carpenters, electricians, plumbers and masons.

Why can't everyone just leave me be?!!!!

I'm doing my part, compromising - yet again - to everyone, but I hate compromising to people's whims.

I don't mind standing up to my responsibilities, I don't mind urgency, I don't mind every possible nuisance, just walk all over me while you're at it.

I do mind indulging every person's priorities before my own, I do mind being held back to contemplate all the details, I do mind being cornered in a very tight schedule cause nobody wants to exert the effort of prioritising rationally.

Everyone, just fuck off!!!!!!

Shamel Needs

2009-02-26T09:42:00.002+02:00

THE OBLIGATORY PART: Go to your favorite search engine and enter your FIRST name and the word NEEDS in quotes (" [Your name] needs”), and see what comes up. List the first 10 sentences that make sense and then tag some of your friends - and don't forget to tag me back too! I followed instructions -this is what I got...

Shamel Needs help (Not in bed I hope)

Shamel Needs at least a few hours a day of sunlight (I could use the tan)

Shamel Needs immediate assistance (help build a home, all donations accepted, cash preferable)

Shamel Needs to give a bit of a background story (Not anymore)

Shamel Needs Bedouin entertainment under the desert tent (Good idea)

Shamel Needs Vote (Lamer of the year award, here I come)

Shamel Needs to know that the future is at stake here (It always is)

Shamel Needs major repairs (Whatever the cost, just do it)

Shamel Needs a wikipedia page (Ok)

Shamel Needs to be known (Yes, I do)

I tag Paul, Brownie, The.i.inside , Dr. Invisible and Insomniac

The Castle

2009-02-26T06:29:00.003+02:00

There was once a kid who was so weak, so insignificant, that it was everyone's favourite pastime to walk all over him.

The kid grew in a tough neighbourhood where if you're not tough enough, you're everyone's prey, he was well raised, parents coming from an old lineage, they raised him in a manner to be a good person, someone to respect, someone to look up to, someone for them to look at later and be proud.

They didn't equip him however to live in his neighbourhood, whenever he walked down the streets, he'd be prey to the toughies down there.

As time flew by, he learned to avoid trouble, move unseen, un-noticed by anyone, attention in his case was the attention of his predators, he didn't want that.

He learned to be good at something else, he learned to build, not destroy, a healer, not a slayer.

One thing he valued most, building sand castles, whenever he found a pile of sand, he'd crawl over and try building it into a sand castle.

However, in his neighbourhood, this was too sissy like, this was unheard of, it was everyone's passion to let him build, then - just as he's about to finish - someone walks over and kick the sand back into place, a pile of sand.

He started learning their ways, it was obvious to him that unless he could defend his castle, it'd be trampled under their feet over and over again.

The kid grew up into a very secluded teen, always picked on by his peers, then came the day where he had to make a stand, and he did.

For 2 more years the youth defended his right to build, nearly killed 3 people in the process, till everyone was satisfied that they couldn't break him anymore, but that he'd keep to himself if left alone.

He grew up building these castles of sand, always failing, always someone would come at the last moment and step over it and he'd re-build them, only for someone else to come and step over it again.

Until one day, the job was complete, a shining castle was built, nobody came anymore to trample it, but the young man was afraid now.

He had put so much for this dream, had fought for his right for so long, that he no longer trusted people to actually leave him be.

Whenever someone came to his house to visit, you'd find the young man sitting protectively beside his achievement, he didn't want to show it off to anyone, he justed wanted to be left alone.

Everytime he felt a threat, he'd fight it off, he could no longer afford to sit and watch, he'd act first, just in case.

He wanted nothing more than to be left alone, cause he'd lost all faith that nobody wants to steal from him, nobody wants to hurt him anymore.

Only one achievement throughout his life, and he's watching over it, not even his parents were allowed to go anywhere near it.

The day he dies, he'll die clinging to this one, cause he has nothing else.

This is too much!!!!

2009-02-24T13:22:00.002+02:00

It has been brought to my attention that someone has been drinking from my mug at work, none other than my new recruit.

Now, besides the fact that he has a cold, amongst other diseases, I don't drink in anyone's place, ba2raf.

Not to mention the fact that this mug was given to me as a gift, so it has a sentimental value.

When will people learn not to trespass on other people's property?!!!!

Into the fray

2009-02-24T11:47:00.003+02:00

So, the musical chairs game continues at work, the cake is big enough for everyone, but will each be content with his share?

On the sidelines I watched, I'd already gotten them all where I want them, it was time to secure my patron's position.

This included subduing the others around me to accept his leadership, a job well done.

Now, with him firmly planted in his new seat, it's time to take over his old seat, luckily none of the others want that one, it's too exposed, the last ditch if you may call it, I'd rather be nowhere else.

With my feet planted in every other candidate's department, it's a matter of time, before my new seat is stamped with my name on it.

Or so it looks anyway, there are always the last minute inconveniences, I hope they don't show up this time

Strange really, thought I knew better

2009-02-22T11:04:00.003+02:00

Just sitting bored at work, waiting for Garada to finish so I can review his work and decided to put my unanswered questions on paper for a change, these have been so bottled up inside, they're about to explode.

1. When will I be my own master, aspiring to please only myself, not please everyone else around me?

2. Why do people aspire to hurt other people who've done nothing but defended themselves when need be?

3. What is it that runs through a murderer's mind when he pulls that trigger?

4. Why is it that everyone has something to prove, whether it's career or personal wise?

5. Is life about dominance or co-existence?

6. If I had my most mortal enemy under my mercy, would I finish him off or let him go?

7. Who am I, the one people see and know, or have I lied all my life and now I've believed my own lie?

8. Are principals there to govern us or help us run our life, which one bends, us or our principals?

These are most of the questions I had no answer to, I don't expect an answer, but I'm just mumbling to myself again

Found that quite funny, thought I'd share

2009-02-19T14:14:00.002+02:00

These are actual answers on a McDonald’s application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid’s gonna go far…

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

Don't feel like working

2009-02-19T07:52:00.001+02:00

I don't wanna go to work today, have had this cold for 3 days now, I have nothing to do there today actually, except use the free time to teach the new guy some new stuff.

But, don't think it's a good idea to take a day off during these turbulent times, so have to go :(

Random Tag

2009-02-18T12:21:00.004+02:00

Well, I've been tagged by Paul (Again), thanks Paul,

1. I'm deeply affected by my loved ones moods.

2. I always feel I deserve better than my neighbours.

3. Self-imposing characters affect negatively on my personal sense of security.

4. I have a chronic digestion problem, due to the fact that I don't chew food at all.

5. I'm quite a good judge of character, even people I heard of and haven't met.

6. I'm over-protective, think too much and have a tendency to link past conversations with current ones to draw a bigger picture.

7. A characteristic I have in common with the elephants, I never forget.

8. My stomach hurts like hell.

9. Unlike what most people think, I'm a very impatient person, I hate having to repeat myself time and again, however I'm very persistent, how this paradox came to happen, beats me.

10. My favourite time of the day is when I'm with my fiancee.

11. I'm quite finicky, to the point of appearing rude.

12. I hate this tag.

13. I'm totally intolerant of stupidity backed up by stubbornness.

14. I hate children, particularly when they're noisy.

15. I'm suspicious of people to the point of paranoia sometimes, maybe that's cause I was too trusty before, and got bitten in the posterior parts once too often.

16. I was on the verge of alcohol addiction, but managed in time.

17. I never ever tried hash, or any sort of narcotics.

18. I almost killed someone in high school, he came off lightly with a concussion though.

19. I had 23 ex-gf's

20. Once, I farted in public, while asleep in a train, it was so loud it woke me up, to find everyone staring at me.

21. I love my fiancee more than I've ever believed myself to be capable of love.

22. I hate human flies.

23. Pushing me around drives me crazy and provokes very violent reactions.

24. I think a lot before speaking or posting, often reviewing my posts, or refraining from speaking till I make sure nothing I say is offensive to anyone.

25. My psyche affects my physical health dramatically.

Hell, pay attention, FOCUS!!!!!

2009-02-18T09:33:00.002+02:00

We come back today to episode 3 of the adventures of Slop and his apprentice Garada.

So, the guy worked yesterday on something I'd told him about, lo and behold, the Great Garada sends me the report without even bothering to check whether the totals match.

So, I have this, sales total = X, The breakdown of the sales by product = X+Y.

Can't he even match totals, has he finally taken leave of his senses??!!!!

Ok, back to finance 101 with you.

****Banging head on the desk ****

I'll be back after these messages.

Who's who?

2009-02-16T16:58:00.002+02:00

Ok, so our CFO walked in on me about 10 minutes ago to ask me how the closing was going.

I know through my contacts that it's held due to technical issues with the system, but, it's not my job, I'm not involved with the monthly closing, accounting closes the period, I do the reporting and variance analysis.

Quite simple, why ask me, I already have too much on my hand, it's enough that I've got my normal work to go looking after other people's work.

This whole situation where all roles are mixed up is not comfortable at all, it hasn't yet been decided who I'm reporting to in the first place, neither is my title, job grade or whether I'm a department or I follow another department.

First settle these pendings then ask me to take over additional responsibilities, it's enough that I'm handling 4 countries unoffially

Interruptions

2009-02-15T14:21:00.003+02:00

Why is it that people can't understand the word "I have work to do?"

Take today for example, my dad has trouble with his PC, I'm at work, obviously, I'm WORKING.

He calls me up, telling me that he has trouble, I tell him I can't help right now, and he decides to call some engineer to look at it, as obviously, he can't wait till I'm home tonight.

10 minutes later, he calls again to inform me that he called the guy, good news, I guess.

15 more minutes, "I wanna create a backup", ok, buy an external hard drive, he goes downstairs to buy a hard drive, then calls "What do I do with it?"

So, I gave him a crash course on copying and pasting.

Now, "It's taking too long to copy".

Oh, ffs, I'm trying to concentrate on my JOB, the one thats' paying my SALARY, what's so URGENT????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Jinx Part II

2009-02-13T20:11:00.000+02:00

Another victim fell today, all back to normal.

Thank you so much, I've heard of instantaneous jinxes, but long acting ones, that's new.

To H.A.

2009-02-13T15:51:00.004+02:00

You're not welcome here, neither in any of our lives, enough damage had been caused by you before.

So, leave this place and never come back, if I ever see you again, I will tear you limb from limb.

We shared a lot in the past, not anymore, you were considered someone trust-worthy, not anymore, I used to pity you, not anymore.

In here, you'll only find despise and hate, the marks of an unwelcoming host to an unwelcomed guest.

So, leave now, before I'm forced to irretrievably hurt you, and you know damn well I can.

You will be given no quarter if I come after you.

Long may you live in pain.

First you walk, then you run

2009-02-12T12:31:00.003+02:00

So, my new apprentice is getting his first taste of actually working with numbers that reflect into actual facts in real life, well and good.

Today I asked him to prepare me a report that I had taught him about yesterday, I didn't expect him to be able to finish it correctly on the first time, in fact, I left him some minor issues to deal with while reporting, this is the only way he'll learn them, by facing and overcoming them.

He's working on it now, I can see his monitor, trying to come up with the first set of figures, ofcourse, all are wrong.

But, this is not what concerns me, what concerns me is that he's trying to add ratio analysis to that, a subject he knows nothing of, it's too advanced for him yet, we don't require it at his level, but he's trying to impress.

I told him a million times to stick to what's asked of him, but he still insists on trying to bypass what I'm teaching him, this is not good.

I mean, improvising is good, I used to try to impress when I was still a rookie, but I knew that if the basic requirement is not met, then all the extra trimmings won't work, when will he ever learn???

Looks like I'll have to subdue him today, a task I'm not very fond of, but he must learn to be target oriented, trimmings come at a later stage.

Discuss

Slop vs. Darth Slop

2009-02-12T08:03:00.005+02:00

This nice conversation happenned yesterday after I arrived home with a very unwelcome yet persistent room-mate.

Slop: So you think you're ready to take over, huh?

Darth: You seem to be losing your grip of late, so perhaps it's my time after all.

Slop: I got us this far, where did you get us before?

Darth: We were feared, respected and admired.

Slop: Now, we're welcomed and loved.

Darth: Is this really what you want?

Slop: Yes

Darth: What if someone pushes us around, you were never good at handling that you know.

Slop: I was good at enduring, you were good at inflicting pain back, I let you lead us around many times, you got us nowhere, always your pride stands in the way of progress.

Darth: And your weakness stood in the face of my pride, what next, more compromising, more giving way to others, more biding time?

Slop: If I let you lead, I'm selling everyone out, I can never come back again.

Darth: Perhaps it's for the best if you leave, let me take the reigns, wouldn't you rather be feared than revered?

Slop: No!!!!

Darth: Have it your way, but I won't be here to look after you anymore.

Slop: Someone else does now, I don't need you, you've outlasted your hospitality.

Darth: You know where to find me.

Slop: Do I?!!!!!

Some words were choking me

2009-02-10T22:54:00.005+02:00

Some random comments,

1. You don't have to be impolite to be outspoken.

2. You don't have to use cryptic words to be impressive.

3. You don't have to shock people to subdue them.

These are just random comments not directed at any particular person(s), just mental farting of yours truly, directed at people in general, as lately, I've noticed that the a/m are becoming more popular by the minute.

He just can't

2009-02-10T14:48:00.003+02:00

Obviously our CFO can't live without making absurd requests at the 11th hour, he's not even in the country, but god bless e-mails, just as I was hoping for a streamlined calm week as well.

He wants us to report today, how so, when there is a global system problem with closing 2008, not all the balances have been moved yet, this is already HQ's problem, not our's, there's a whole freeze on reporting till IT resolve the issue.

But, hell no, report offline, so now I'm expected to go ask each and every single accountant what pending items he has, consolidate those, add them to whatever's on the system, and obtain a "rough estimate" of the results.

Hell, the figures will be gravely wrong, we all know that, but like a kid sneeking on his christmas gift, he's impatient to know the results.

I mean, Corporate IT created this mess, why should Egypt's reporting come with a manual walk-around, and what's the hurrryyyyyyy|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Jinx

2009-02-10T09:10:00.004+02:00

So, I've been jinxed, by none other than someone who used to be a very close friend until recently.

When I saw the look on his face on that day, I knew something was going gravely wrong on the spot, and guess what, almost everything did.

From the illness over the weekend, to my car breaking down momentarily (Never did it before), to my dad's car burning, only one thing was done properly, but I will not reveal it yet.

It really amazes me, how can someone hate you so, as to wish you sadness.

Perhaps it's time I saw some witch-doctor after all.

The Rookie

2009-02-08T10:39:00.002+02:00

Yes, I finally have a junior in my department, it was a shock on thursday when I saw how ill-informed he was of the basics of finance, or of the comoany business.

However, today, it was an inspiration watching him focus on the morning session, improvising on what I was telling him, trying to think outside the box.

I think he'll make for a good one, only needs to keep his eagerness to impress on a leash.

Never been in such pain

2009-02-07T20:34:00.002+02:00

I don't usually fall ill, yes, I have some chronic issues with my back, but these are occupational health issues.

Today however, I have this piercing pain extending from the bottom of my right shoulder blade all the way to my neck.

Hurts when I sit, hurts when I drive, hurts when I swallow, sneeze or even laugh.

If this doesn't go away in 2 days, I guess I'll have to see a doctor about it.

Headache

2009-02-06T12:17:00.000+02:00

Make it go away

Feels good

2009-02-06T09:50:00.002+02:00

Yesterday was a good day.

I had some pending issues to solve and they've been solved to the best satisfactory result.

Also, a wedding I had, felt good to finally spend some quality time with my fiancee after a long week, we should do that more often.

Thanks babe, really needed that.

Bored

2009-02-05T09:57:00.003+02:00

I arrived at work, to find that nobody's showed up yet, including my new subordinate.

He was supposed to start with me today, after making a transfer from accounting, with the clear understanding that I have 1 month to make an analyst of him, otherwise, they let him go.

Now, showing up late on your first day is not exactly my idea of leaving a good first impression, ofcourse, I'm assuimiung he'll show up in the first place.

Websudoku for the day it is then.

Subtlety

2009-02-05T07:50:00.004+02:00

I was listening to Saint-Saens Symphony no. 3 today, I always enjoyed this sort of music, always thought that my passion for classical music was due to the fact that my grandfather used to listen to it when I was young.

Later on, I thought that it was cause of the way it let my mind wander afar trying to feel like the composer does.

But today, it hit me, what's beautiful about classical music is the subtlety involved, it tickles your feelings, puts you in a state of mind where you're unable to comprehend whether you're happy, sad or condused.

The multiple themes involved, the way they intermingle, the polyphony, always keeps you on your toes, waiting for more, wanting to know more.

It's like sitting beside a pianist, listening to him playing, you wanna go to bed, but can't, because you know that the next song will be better, and the one after will be the most beautiful you ever heard in your entire life.

It's like being lured into unknown world.

Anyway, here I am mumbling again, trying to describe what's undescribable.

Slop out!!!

Power Struggle

2009-02-03T14:46:00.003+02:00

About 10 days ago, the second man in finance at the company where I work resigned, leaving a vacant seat, which can be considered as a stepping stone into top management.

So here I am today watching the emminent power struggle within the finance department, so far, no role has been assigned to me, except the fact that I've started taking over my boss's job, to allow him to jump in the late manager's suit.

Where this leads, I have no idea, I expect to be given the planning and analysis department, things are moving in that way, I've already been assigned a junior to make an analyst of him.

The question is, will I just be promoted on the chart (directly reporting to the CFO) - which I've been unofficially doing for the last 3 months - or will I also be promoted and finally given the title to match??

Whatever happens, looks like I'll have to start entering the power struggle with the existing managers for departmental dominance, and with the wanna-be managers (like me) who'll try to subdue me before I'm too big.

Is it time to start separating the boys from the men or should I bide my time further?

Already one of my peers, who's also expecting a promotion, tried probing me today, I let him win that round for a change.

But should I ride the tidal wave now, or let them put me in my place for a bit further??

Discuss!!!

I have been tagged

2009-02-03T13:01:00.003+02:00

I have been tagged by Paul, the newest blogger on the block, so here goes.

Favourite Colour: Blue

Favourite Perfume (Guys) : Fahrenheit (Not the summer edition though)

Favourite Perfume (Girls) : Whatever my fiancee wears ;)

Favourite PJ brand: Never wear them

Favourite Clothes Brand: Guy Laroche

Favourite Person in the Entire World: SoU

Favourite Country: Italy

Favourite Car: Jaguar

Favourite Sport: Soccer

Favourite Sports Player: Del Piero

Favourite Spot in the World: I won't say where but it's in Zamalek.

Favourite Animal: Wolverine

Favourite Movie: War and Peace

Favourite Singer: Evanescense

Favourite Day of the Week: Saturday

Favourite time of the day: Depends on the day

Favourite holiday season: Annual leave time

Favourite number: Nine

Favourite food: Ravioli

Favourite chocolate: After Eight

Favourite Cartoon: The twelve impossible tasks of Asterix

Favourite Blogger: SoU

Favourite Icecream Flavour: None

Favourite Mobile Brand: Nokia

Favourite Name: Seif or Dalia

Favourite Hobby: Chess

Favourite Room in my House: My room

Favourite Fruit: Grapes

Favourite Flower: None

Favourite Qur'an Reciter: Mashari Rashed

Favourite Ayah: Won't type it in english

Favourite Website: Stars-empire

I tag:

Insomniac

The.i.inside

Brownie

Bongiorno

2009-02-03T09:10:00.001+02:00

This made my day ;)

Where to from here??!!!

2009-02-01T16:00:00.003+02:00

This day is looking brighter by the moment.

I'm helpless to help my friends who have been fired from their jobs as a result of the recession.

I have no data whatsoever for this freaking direct cashflow, indirect I can handle, but direct means I have to dig deep, which - unfortunately - means I have to sit with the accountants so they'll give me their data.

I have no clue when I'm leaving work, which really pisses me off, it's like being tied up on a leash to the boss.

I'm tired of being cornered wherever I look.

Last but not least, I don't feel like working or going home.

Piss me off

2009-01-23T09:06:00.002+02:00

Nothing like an early morning coffee, with a nice smoke to entice the mind to wander off for a bit, today I was surfing through some blogs when I decided to write about stuff that pisses me off.

1. Meddling in people's affairs.

2. Passing judgement on people, when you obviously display the same symptoms of what you discriminate.

3. Total disregard of manners when it comes to conflicting views, it displays ill-breading, as well as an incurable childish nature.

4. How people believe they own you cause they employ you.

5. Focusing on details at the expense of the overall picture.

6. Trying to please everyone, I've paid too much of my mental stability trying to please everyone wherever I go, I simply can't carry on anymore, eventually I'll die out on everyone.

7. Selfishness, in whatever form gets to me, I simply can't understand how you can have peace of mind at someone else's expense.

I must admit of being guilty of some of the above, but I'm working on it.

The Swindler

2009-01-20T09:27:00.004+02:00

By definition, the swindler is the one who screws you up while you're happy about it.

Unfortunately, that's part of my job, swindling people, my job, however, does not include the stealing part of a swindler's job.

Basically, what I do is try to keep everyone happy and convinced that they got away with what they wanted, when in fact, they got away with what I wanted them to get away with.

It doesn't really matter what they want, what really matters is does what they want fit within the whole context of what the business needs??

So, I convince them that they don't really need what they wanted, what they need is to fall within the overall context, someone's gotta lose at the end, it won't be me.

So, here I am, caught between 3 parties, with 3 different agendae:

A. Business Owner. (Max return on investment)

B. Top Management. (Play it Safe)

C. Individual Directors. (Smaller target with a higher Budget)

With poor little old me trying to please them all, no way, except, The Swindler.

Otherwise, they get someone else to do it for them and I'm on the streets.

Any0ne have anything to add??

This is too much

2009-01-12T21:45:00.003+02:00

How come business owners believe they own their employees??!!!!

I mean, take today for example, "Shamel, we're changing some figures in the budget, so we'll be staying late"

I go, alter all my plans to be somewhere else tonight, cancel previous engagements.

Then at 8:30 P.M. "Shamel, let's make it tomorrow"

This is too much, how fucked up is hanging people on a wire, screwing up their day, just in case?!!!!

Jeeezzzz, it feels like I was bought in a slave market, next they'll ask me to cook or dance for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Till Death Do Us Part

2009-01-07T19:10:00.002+02:00

Today something special took place I finally got over my commitment phobia and decided I am ready to be in a serious relationship and hence came the decision to get engaged to the one and only my best friend and wife to be Sarah Yehia AKA Sou

To the utter surprise of both our families we tied the knot today in a family ceremony.

Wishing everyone our kind of happiness.

Take Care and wedding gifts are accepted from now on forward or Cash denotations are better.

Ciao

2009 - A new hope

2009-01-01T07:14:00.002+02:00

A new year started a few hours ago.

2008 - as mentioned in earlier posts - was a rather turbulent year, the last couple of weeks were spectacularly wonderful.

Things are shaping up on most fronts, there's a sort of streamlining which is leading in only one direction.

I can only look forward to more progress in 2009 and hope for the best.

God has gotten me this far, I'm certain it's all for the best.

The bad things about 2008 have been duly noted and the lessons learned, hope I haven't missed any lessons along the way.

So, happy new year to you all and your loved ones, may you all prosper.

Absent-mindedness

2008-12-27T07:59:00.002+02:00

Nothing can clear the mind more than remembering funny stuff, your's and others'.

Today I speak of absent-mindedness I've either experienced or encountered along the way.

I. Ma3aki walla3a?

About a month ago, I was meeting a friend of mine, we had lunch, then went to a coffee shop for some coffee and some nice chit-chat.

I wanted to light a smoke, couldn't find my lighter:

Me: ma3aki walla3a?

Friend: ** fidling with a piece of paper to make a small boat** "ah"

For about 10 minutes I kept watching her make that boat, then she turns around.

Friend: ah, enta 3ayez walla3a!!!

II. Meen di?

2 weeks ago, I was meeting a friend, we went into a coffee shop, I needed to go to the bathroom, so she walked over to the counter to order till I returned.

Anyway, I went to the loo, did my thing, came back, while looking around, I noticed a girl who looked familiar standing on the counter to order some stuff.

Now, where have I seen this one before, maybe she works with me, a friend's friend, perhaps I'm just imagining things and I don't know this one at all.

It suddenly dawned on me, that's my friend who was ordering stuff for us while I'm answering nature's call.

III. ettafa2na 3ala kolle el tafaseel.

About 3 years ago, I used to play an online game, I'd been saving up to get myself a full fleet of battleships, when someone decided I was a worthy target and destroyed them all.

Anyway, I went to bed, was awoken about 30 minutes later by a friend who wanted to let me know that she'd broken up with her bf.

She'd left him cause he was a very active liar, she kept on talking and talking, when I suddenly fell asleep in a swoon, I dreamt of my destroyed battleships, while still talking to her, the following conversation ensued:

Me: I've agreed with my parents that I'm moving out.

Her: And they agreed?

Me: Yep, we've agreed on all the details.

Her: What details?

Me: You know, when I leave, how I'll live, how many ships will be used to move my furniture.

Her: WHAT?!!!!!!??

Me: **Waking up** What did I just say??!!!!

Her: You told me you were moving your furniture on ships, I just left my bf cause he's a liar and I come across a bigger one now.

Needless to say I never heard from her again.

IV. Fein el telephone??!!!!!

A friend of mine was driving us to Maadi on the courniche, the streets were empty and he was speeding, now this friend of mine is not the multi-tasking type at all.

Anyway, he had a phone call and was smoking while driving, he finished the call and finished the cigarette simultaneously.

All of a sudden I found him handing me the cigarette and throwing his phone out of the window, then just continuing our conversation.

I sat stunned for about 10 to 15 seconds, then he suddenly asked me:

Friend: Fein el telephone?

Me: enta rameitoh men el shebak 3and mostashfa el kowwat el mosalla7a.

Friend: **Suddenly hitting the brakes** "ana 3amalt keda tany???"

Me: howwa enta 3amalt keda 2awwalani??

Friend: ah, men sana, rameit el telephone fi el ba7r we 7atteit can beet fi geiby.

This should be it for today, try beating that dudes and dudettes.

Lessons I need to pass on

2008-12-21T20:06:00.005+02:00

I sit tonight at home, listening to music, drinking and musing about what life has taught me so far, nothing.

So, I decided to write it down, cause without a drink, I'll never have the courage to say what I want to say.

I've learned that you get warned a couple of times, venture too far and danger will descend from above.

I've learned that you never have anything to do about how life treats you, all you can do is accept it, with acceptance, things get better.

I've learned that what people think of you only matters to your ego, but not to your true self.

I've also found out that life is but a sentence of imprisonment followed by execution.

Most importantly, I've found that you are what you believe yourself to be, believe too much and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, never ever fulfill it.

Do what's good for you, or you're not good for anybody.

One last thing, never ever be sceptic of a gift, accept it as is, turning it down is worse than tucking it in your closet, cause you've let someone down, someone who tried to make you happy, but was turned down with his gift.

Don't ever assume you know everything, everyone knows something, the something someone else knows, might be new to you.

I've paid the price for my arrogance, when will you see it fit to ordain my debt paid, I can't pay anymore.

Just lovely

2008-12-20T20:30:00.003+02:00

Sitting at Cilantro mohandesseen, I'm currently watching a scene that always annoyed me, a 25 year old guy exercising his charm on a 17 year old kid.

I see the look in both eyes, and it's like telepathy, the girl is fascinated, the guy had the hungry wolf look.

This is an accident waiting to happen, she stands no chance against this one.

Well, I know that you're all gonna say, she knows what she's doing, she's master of her own fate.

But, this is one of the few things I respect about foreign countries, anywhere that's not Egypt, this pedophile would be prosecuted by now.

Ah, the ironies of life, I sit here and watch what I used to do long ago and I resent it, who knows how many I hurt along the way before I was awakened and could no longer do that willingly.

I'm really tempted to walk over to them, the guy represents everything I've ever hated, ever resented and everything I've tried to break but failed.

The arrogance, hunger and gluttony in that look will haunt me for a while, and I'll always remember this look.

Budget 5th Run!!!!

2008-12-17T22:10:00.002+02:00

Now, I'm really pissed, having to wait till the last moment before they review the budget, now they just want better results.

I mean, I raised the red flag last month, what more early warnings do they need to make up their minds on where they want it to go????

Ok, today I wait for the latest figures, ETA 11:30 PM, when my deadline was yesterday, I can't believe that for the first time, I had to send an apology to HQ telling them that management are still sceptic of the figures.

I hate to look bad with the talk of promotion lurking in the air.

Do your jobs, damn it!!!!!!

Deadline Watchers

2008-12-16T23:05:00.003+02:00

I hate those, I'm usually on or ahead of schedule, really pisses me off to have to deal with deadline watchers.

Take the last 2 days for example, these sorry asses have had almost 2 months to prepare the budget, but how come?

Hell, no, let's cram this nerd in finance, let's just send him the data he needs 1 day before his deadline.

So now, I've been working none-stop for 2 days, just so these lame asses can work on the last day, needless to say that everything went wrong, from wrong assumptions to contradicting figures, so I just had to over-ride their figures and replace with my own calculations.

Damn, tomorrow will be a hell of a day with me trying to prove them all wrong and them trying to prove me an arrogant highly over-rated geek.

God help us all when the trend becomes like this in the last 7 companies.........

Devine Intervention

2008-12-15T19:04:00.000+02:00

This weekend was full of contradictions, I'll include below excerpts from my personal log.

Thursday, December 11, 2008,

Day 3 of going Cold Turkey on my addiction, I went to work again today, anything is welcome to distract me now, even working while everyone else is enjoying themselves 11 storeys below me is a welcome distraction.

I came home after a long working day, I think I've caught a cold, might have a fever, but I'd rather not take my temperature, than find I have a fever and my father hears word of it, I'll never hear the end of it.

I've instead entered into solitary confinement, I close my door and do nothing, just facing my addiction, it's not physical, it's psychlogical, I need to get rid of this dependence.

Around midnight, I had a good chat with a friend, strange how I've only known this one for less than a week and we clicked really well, I'm finding more comfort in talking to this one, than my old friends.

Friday, December 12, 2008,

Day 4 begins, this will be tougher than usual, my hand strays to the painkiller, but no painkillers for me today, I walk out of the room for a while for fresh air, this room is beginning to look and smell more like a mix of an internal combustion engines and a pig sty.

I go in again, take a look at my phone if anyone's called, nobody, don't know whether to feel good or bad about it, I miss human company, but I must face this alone, no distractions.

Around midnight, same scenario as last night, except this time, I took my temperature, no fever thankfully.

Saturday, December 13, 2008,

I went out early today, I had 2 appointments, plus some errands to do in between.

First, I visited a relative of mine, he's depressed and needs the company, we sat down listening to music and playing chess.

Just as I'm about to leave, I receive a long-dreaded call, my addiction has come to visit me, strange how my whole mood changed, my face lighted up, I'm sure I had a glimmer in my eye.

I kept staring at that phone, unsure what to do, I picked up, and within 1 minute, I was back 8 years in time, there's no addiction, no fear, just pure joy at hearing an old friend's voice.

How could I have been so dumb, just cause things didn't go my way, it doesn't mean it has to be the highway.

There's a lot of history in there, history that I was willing to let go, just cause I was too scared to lose her, I was destroying the same thing I was trying to preserve.

How ironic is that, in my feverish attempts to make sure a life long friendship would last forever, I was going to ruin it.

I don't know if the above sentence made sense, but it's how I saw everything very clearly, suddenly there was no longing, no possessiveness, just pure mutual history and caring, we were just enjoying each other's company.

Have I been such a fool as to try and finish this and consider it a weakness on my side to maintain it??!!!!!

At night, I had a wonderful meeting I'd been looking forward to for a while, and it surpassed my expectations.

So, again, I can say nothing to explain what happenned except 2 words "Devine Intervention".

The best day to fall ill

2008-12-15T13:06:00.002+02:00

Is when you have 7 deadlines to meet and you have to work from home, so you're not really off.

I need a break, and I definitely need an assistant

Back to work

2008-12-10T18:56:00.002+02:00

Today, I returned to work after a couple of days of well earned rest (Yes, I worked from home on friday and sunday).

I had a lot of reporting to do, which - thankfully enough - was fulfilled within the designated time.

Ofcourse, there was my infamous new haircut, or lack thereof, some were surprised, some didn't recognize me at all.

The best reaction came from the receptionist, the below conversation ensued about 30 minutes after arriving at work, I found this receptionist of ours tapping me on the shoulder.

M: Shamel, you look somewhat different
Slop: Really, how so?
M: Not sure, have you lost weight?
Slop: Yep, I always lose weight when under stress.
M: Cool, you look better that way.

Then aur HR assistant walks in, without taking a second look, she goes "Hey, nice haircut."

So, our receptionist goes, "Ah, so thats's why you look different."

Anyway, this made me laugh all day, really made my day.

That was as pointless as they come dudes and dudettes, I think it's a welcome change.

The booster

2008-12-08T19:51:00.002+02:00

Today, I managed to do something I always wanted to do, something came my way that I'd wanted for a long time.

But, I managed to say no to it, it was the right thing to do, not to take the chance when presented.

Not all of it is due to my being righteous, there was that, but there was also the fact that I was dumbstruck.

You know the dog that chases cars all his life, once a car stops infront of him, he doesn't know what to do with it.

It's the chase that attracted the dog, not the car.

Hmmm, either that or I'm the most foolish guy ever born for walking out on this one.

A little musical incident

2008-12-07T17:23:00.003+02:00

So, I know it sounds queer, but only recently I've discovered Evanescence, I first heard them by co-incidence on someone's blog, asked a friend what that music was and she told me.

So, today, I decided I'd start listening to them, went to Youtube, looked them up, start with "My Immortal", very touching song, simple form, but touches you deep.

Anyway, here's the funny bit, my mom walked into my room, suddenly she turned around and asked me, "Since when do you listen to Evanescence".

I asked her if she knows them, she said sure, they're good.

Now, I've been closed up for a while, but up to the point where my mom knows more about recent bands than I do, interesting indeed.

I mean I know I'm very ehind on that front, but not this much behind, something needs to be done and fast, can someone recommend some other things to listen to??

The sideliner

2008-12-06T10:35:00.004+02:00

Now he waits, the sideliner is the man left on the sideline, usually he's not involved in anything, is always kept in the dark.

Today, I am that man, kept on the sideline, very blind, can do nothing but wait and pray.

I keep looking at that phone, begging it to ring, pray for me.

10 years later, and here we go again

2008-12-05T01:31:00.001+02:00

Lol, ok, I'm not the sort of person who values personal appearance a lot, as long as you're clean, don't smell and are not wearing green shoes to match red striped pants and dark brown hawaii shirt while smoking a cigar, you should be ok, same goes for my personal appearance.

What I do mind is how people think of me as a person, this is where I do my best to be as refined as possible. Anyway, this is not what I'm here to talk about today, the week was not as bad as last week, started very turbulently, as usual there were points to define the week, landmarks to remember this week by.

There was my birthday outing, but this was discussed in detail earlier.

Primarily I made a promise to someone to not let my anticipation of what people think, affect my decisions, I was the sort of person who'd walk into a shop, asks the price of something, then is too emarassed to say it's too expensive, I buy it anyway, then corner myself to the end of the month, not happenning again I guess.

The other thing is, I did it again, I've shaved my head, someone commented that I'd look better in shorter hair, I wanted to prove her wrong, guess what, I think I was right, long hair fits my face better, everyone else seems to think otherwise.

I'm unaccustomed to the shape of my cranium, you know, I feel like this head is not mine, it looks like an alien's head, also my nose looks much bigger now. I do look a bit aggressive though, which is a contrast to my usually mild looking self.

Hmmm, if I get used to how I look, I might actually keep it, I'll decide when it grows back, but for now, I'm happy I'm attempting to change, even if it's just looks.

Drained

2008-12-02T23:47:00.002+02:00

You know, I'm pretty much drained, I think too much of many unrelated things, I try to relate them to each other.

It's like my thoughts are a flock of sheep, with me as the herder, You chase one, another two move out in two random directions, you can never account for all of them.

I used to find solace in long working hours followed by an exhausted sleep, not anymore, my mind keeps straying, I wanna be in multiple places simultaneously, I need to finish my work cause I'm needed somewhere else, so I'm not finishing my job as needed, which leaves me even more drained when I go next day to find that the load will increase cause I didn't get eveything done right on the first time.

Even sleeping has become a problem for me, these dreams, I'm not the sort of person who'll dream of nightmarish creatures, but my worst mightmares are usually associated with unexpected bad findings, the stuff only a sick mind like mine can imagine.

Someone commented that I'm unable to focus for the last week or so, it's very true, I never had that issue before, we'd start a conversation and mid-way I'd forget what we're talking about, yesterday my mom asked me if I wanted to have supper, I kept staring at her till she actually screamed at me "SHAMEL, SUPPER?????"

I know it annoys people, but I can't help it, my mind is wandering off in the darkest recesses of my memories.

Yesterday a friend caught me speaking to myself while driving, I had remembered an old conversation, about 6 years old, and I suddenly started repeating what I'd said and correcting my answers.

While I was driving home tonight, it suddenly struck me that I've never broken up with my ex, we suddenly stopped speaking, I was 23 at the time, I had just graduated, was too busy with work, all I remember is that I started working in July, she stopped calling me in September, I noticed in February, when I did call her, she'd already given up and gotten engaged, not that I blame her.

That's the price I paid for trying to make up ground on the career front.

When I come to think of it, maybe it's for the best, since it was obviously doomed anyway, but I think I'm the only guy to forget he has a gf, lol.

I've let a lot of people down in my younger days, maybe that's what's driving me now, I don't want to let people down again, most of all, I no longer want to let myself down.

Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts

2008-11-30T07:44:00.000+02:00

I woke up early today, couldn't sleep more than 3 hours, walked out of the room, made my coffee, came back into my room, lighted a smoke and sat listening to music.

About 10 minutes ago I received an SMS from my aunt in Dubai wishing me a happy birthday, I was so happy she remembered it, for some reason most everybody else in the family forgot about it, guess it becomes a normal thing after 29 years.

Yesterday I took out the people that mean something to me to celebrate my birthday, I wanted to see all the people I love in one place, it was nice but strange.

There were 7 of us including me, most of them didn't know each other, about 1 hour into the outing, it had turned into 3 conversations, with me taking part in none of them, but I was happy and safe in the knowldege that these people were here for me.

I just lay back in my seat with a smile on my face watching them all laughing and talking and I wished I'd die in that moment, I was finally happy.

Some of them commented on me not pulling anyone's leg, I said I couldn't concentrate, but it wasn't true, I just wanted them to know each other so I was silent to let them do that, it was the main purpose of the outing.

Most of us are lonely even though we deny it, I'm glad 2 of them got each other's contacts, I had done something good to 2 people I care about a lot.

One of them got me a present, a bottle of perfume, I'll put it on today, it really meant something to me, it's been 3 years since anyone got me anything, she went to the trouble of thinking what I'd want, I won't be using it too often though, as I want that bottle to remain there reminding me that I do mean something to someone.

I'm supposed to meet someone today, I'm really looking forward to it, I'll excuse myself early from work to meet her, I really miss this girl and she's one of the few who actually care, I'd hug her if I didn't know she wasn't into physical contact and if I knew she wouldn't misinterpret it, I have a bad history that she knows about about abusing hugs when it comes to girls, I wouldn't blame her.

So I'll just get a hold of myself, again, today I think of nothing except the moment, I'm too tired of thinking.

Someone asked me yesterday about my plans for next year, I couldn't think of any, I believe plans are made so we can find something to benchmark against and find a reason for our failures.

I don't want to go to work today, but 3 sundays in a row will be too much, so I'll just have to go I guess.

I don't know what will happen this year, I have 2 plans of travelling, hope atleast one of them works out, I need the change.

I want to get drunk and just sit there thinking of nothing, get rid of these nightmares I'm having and most of all I want to lay anchor somewhere, look someone in the eye and tell her I wanna be with her for the rest of my life and she'll look me in the eye and tell me the same.

I know too romantic, too much of a fairytale, but I can always wish, that's the only thing nobody can take away from me.

1 week ago, I caught myself screaming in the car, I was too frustrated and this was the only thing that happenned, strangely enough, I didn't notice it till it was out.

It was a mix between a scream and a sigh, very loud, people in other cars looked at me as if I'm crazy, which perhaps I am.

Stranger still, I didn't know I was going to do that, I just tried to stop it when it was out, which made it sound even worse, it was like the death throes of a dying a beast that was shot in the bowels but in too much pain to actually make an effort to resist, so he's just dying slowly, looking at his killer, too exhausted to go for him.

Looks like my mom just remembered, she walked into my room right now to tell me happy birthday, I'm glad she's happy, I always made her sad before.

I'll have to run now as I'm late for work, I'll be fine till the lunch break, then fine again when it's over, work tends to do that to me, perhaps it's time I started working late hours just to stop myself thinking of any other thing.

For now, I'll just give myself a hug, wish myself happy birthday, and beg Him for a better year next year, even if I don't deserve it for being too fickle.

Your Youngest and Strongest will fall by The Sword

2008-11-29T11:43:00.000+02:00

I watched today one of my old time favourites, an old movie called "Once upon a time in America", premiered in 1984, starring a very young Robert De Niro and James Woods, directed by Sergio Leonne, the soundtrack by Ennio Morricone.

I won't spoil it for you, I'll only make a small outline of the first half of the movie, so if you wanna watch it, you can enjoy it.

This is the story of David Aaranson AKA Noodles (De Niro), a young jewish kid of 14 living in the Ghetto in 1922.

We see him passing through very hard times, a screwed up home and family, very poor, living in an area dominated by a ganglord called Bugsy Malone.

Noodles, along with a group of 4 work for Bugsy, collecting money from store owners for protection, till one day they decide to work on their own, which Bugsy doesn't like and threatens them.

They come up with a new invention to help the mob smuggling, for which they get a cut.

After getting their first real money, walking around the streets, singing and dancing, they encouner Bugsy, who shoots the youngest of the group "Domenic", a 9 year old kid, in return Noodles stabs Bugsy to death and is sent to jail for a 10 year sentence.

The title of the post "Your Youngest and Sterongest will fall by The Sword", is a small senence that was put right above the entrance of the prison to which he was sent, it was also engraved on

the entrance of a graveyard, it summarises a lot of the turning points of the movie.

I will stop here, the story is much deeper, much more complicated than what I listed, which is a very bad narrative for it, you can never make a good summary of a good storyline.

But I'll stop here with one question.

Can you judge Noodles, seeing what background he comes from?

I for one sympathise with him, so he message I'm sending today is however bad someone may look, only judge him when you've seen what he's been through.

Put yourself in his shoes first, what would you do, if you'd find yourself a way out other then doing what they did, then and only then judge them, otherwise hold your peace.

I'll leave you with a part of the soundtrack, I for one never get bored of hearing it, gives me shivers down my spine, it's called Poverty.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvWvmQipf0Y

An unexpected change of tides

2008-11-28T02:16:00.000+02:00

This will be very long, even by my standards, don't say I didn't warn you.

I detail below a log of events that have happenned this week, I'll skip the ones that are not mine to share. (Skip to thursday, that's where all the interesting stuff is)

Weekend was a total mess, had something on my mind that had been dragging only in my head, being unable to settle it made me stick at home for most of the time, except for friday morning, I met one of my friends, then aruptly ended the meeting cause I received an SMS that really disturbed me.

Sunday started as a wonderful day, then turned into a gloomy day, something had been settled in a way I didn't want nor wish for, but atleast it's settled.

Monday was lots of work, met one of my dearest friends at night, it was a good meeting, got my mood a bit better.

Tuesday, confused, still trying to find my bearings, went to my mom's performance, best thing I did this week, as it wasn't about fulfilling what I want.

Wednesday, more work, lots of messed up mistakes at work, I'm having trouble focusing nowadays, my mind strays in different directions, it's as if I'm purposefully destroying what I built in a sort of rebellion on myself and what I believe in, it's like I'm daring HIM to strike me down, not sure when I'll get out of this mood, last time it took me 2 years, I hope I've grown enough to realise what needs to be done.

Thursday: 3 main events mark the day.

I. Our CFO came in and asked me why I was so gloomy this week, you look like you've just come back from your son's funeral my friend, he says, then walks away. I just smile stupidly at him, but it really sinks in, have I become so bad at isolating work from life, does it show that much that I'm morbid these days, I was good at putting on my mask before, what happenned??

II. I went to the ATM to draw my payroll to find they had transferred almost double my salary, I call our CFO telling him there's a mistake and whether I should withdraw the cash and return it or leave it there and instruct the bank to re-transfer the difference.

Et voila, the first good news of the week, "You've been doing really well, so we've obtained exceptional approval for you to get 1 month bonus".

This is good news, not about the money, it's about being appreciated, I've been with them since September 14th and already I'm being rewarded.

III. 7 years ago, a friend of mine had a gf, she had a friend, we met up back then, we were very interested in each other, then my friend screwed me, I was out.

3 years later I was home on a 4 day break between jobs, she came on my mind, thought I'd give her a call, she was very welcoming, we started dating for a couple of months, then she told me that she'd already been engaged when I called her.

I stopped calling her, 4 months later, she called me, told me she'd been married for a week and had discovered too late that she was in love with me, I told we couldn't speak anymore it ended there.

Today I was walking at City Stars, when I saw her, she looked as lovely as ever, and NO WEDDING RING.

I stood there like a guy who'd been thunderstruck for about 2 to 3 minutes undecided on what to do, she didn't see me and went on her way.

But I find myself asking, why am I getting all these visions of past events re-visiting me these days, why now?

So, here's what happenned during this week, a queer one, huh?

Crazy ideas

2008-11-27T08:58:00.000+02:00

Today I speak of something we all do, decide to do something irrational for the most stupid reasons.

When I was 18, I was supposed to travel to Sharm with my friends, I arranged everything, got them good room rates, flight details and everything.

2 days before the trip I had a fight with my dad and I couldn't travel,.

So here I was in Cairo, with all my friends in Sharm for the next 10 days in the mid-year vacation, I needed to do something to get out of this mood.

So, I went over to my barber, told him to shave my head clean (zalabatta) and walked over to the club.

I sat in the middle of the pergola waiting for anyone to come over and start making fun of me, I wanted to find something to laugh about, no better thing came to mind than to laugh at the jokes people made about me.

It actually worked, I had a good day of laughing, but I was stuck with an ugly head for another couple of weeks till my hair re-grew.

Anyone done anything irrational like that before?

The Performance

2008-11-26T08:02:00.000+02:00

My mom is a member of a choir, she likes to sing and it fills up her life a bit, since - regrettably - I'm not there for her as much as I hope, I'd been shutting myself up in my room for the last 14 years, only come out during meal times.

They have 2 performances a year, on 2 consecutive days, yesterday was the first, today the second.

Anyway, I didn't intend to attend her annual performance yesterday as I was out of mood, my dad couldn't attend as well as he's ill.

I went home after work, opened up a bottle of beer and decided tonight was one to drink, make fun of people and shut the world out, when my dad knocked on my door and told me that my mom was ill and would only be singing on the first performance and that she had called him and told him she was very frustrated at me for not being there.

Anyway, I got up, got dressed in my finest suit, went over to attend.

I arrived after it had started, so I waited till the entre'acte, then went over to her, hugged her, and for the first time, my mom cried on my shoulder, she was very happy that I took the trouble and went.

You should've seen her showing me around to her friends, calling them over "That's my son", I was happy for her and I regret the many times I let her down.

I wanna make it up to her, I was very selfish, too indulged in my own grief to actually notice how we made her feel at home, that she actually sought a life elsewhere.

I wanna take her out next friday, along with my dad, not sure where though.

On a brighter note, I'd been trying to make contact with a fellow blogger, yesterday when I returned home, I found him online, we had a brief but good talk, I hope I didn't bore him to death, he's a good guy who'll grow up to see the world isn't about decisions one day, it's about how you handle them.

I feel I must apologise for being royally boring during the last couple of days, I had lost something dear to me and was trying to regain my self-esteem, coming to terms with loss does that to me.

Special thanks to Sand for letting me see it, even if the words were rough around the edges, I was losing something more important, your words made me regain them (It's the post I deleted).

Also for a very old friend for being here when needed most, I know it was difficult, I'm not sure you read my blog anymore, but just in case you do, I owe you this one amopngst a lot of other things.

It's 8:15, I'm due at City Stars at 9:00.

I'll see you all soon, hope not to bore you all again.

Slop out!!!!

This has been too gloomy, let's have a laugh

2008-11-25T08:25:00.000+02:00

Mafia Panda, was posted on my forum, thought I'd share, will make for a change from yesterday's mood.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8n3KDH73BY

Another year approaches

2008-11-22T12:08:00.000+02:00

I'm turning 29 next week, as I look back, this was one of the most turbulent of my life.

I made a lot of wrong decisions which were remedied by different moves later on, on the whole it was a good year results wise, although the steps taken were quite painful.

I list below a not-so-detailed account of the goings by month.

November 2007: I make a move to a major local retailer, leaving my multi-national industry leader for double my package, which seemed right at the time, later turned out to be the ruin of my career.
December 2007: I go into a brief relationship which showed me that I can be a bastard like anyone else.
January 2008: Problems arise at work which result in me starting to look for a move, for the first time I'm threatened of losing my job, cause I took the fight to a personal level with an unscupulous character.
February 2008: I end the relationship I started, being forced to by someone speaking behind my back.
March 2008: An old relative of mine re-appears in my life, giving me better leverage, we had been torn apart by the division bell, people call religious beliefs.
April 2008: Job hunting with no success.
May 2008: My boss resigns, which gives me more time to look for a job, may he never experience a moment of happiness.
June 2008: Nothing
July 2008: An old friend re-approaches me after disappearing for 15 months, the greatest event of the year.
August 2008: I find a new job effective September, life is looking brighter by the moment.
September 2008: I move to my new job, start finding a purpose for life finally, I hope my dream realises after 8 years of waiting.
October 2008: I break my last tie to my old chums, a decision I should've taken long ago.

So there you see, it was a fruitful year, though full of unexpected turns, I don't regret anything except the delays that came on the way.

I hope the next year will be a continuation, no more turning points for me, except on one field which I hope will be settled finally.

Strange conversation

2008-11-16T10:33:00.000+02:00

Well, I have 2 pieces of news:

Primarily, It went really well, I passed one of my toughest tests.

The second piece is a very strange story, as some of you know, I'm 29, I come from a rather liberal family, they've always been letting me be, I do what I wish, with 2 limits, main of which is, I have a curfew at home, I have to be home before 1 AM.

Anyway, I had a friend return to the country yesterday late at night, I wanted to pick her up and drive her home, knowing my parents, they wouldn't have agreed to me leaving the house that late, so I told them I was travelling to Alexandria early in the morning, left to a friend's house, spent the day there, had to leave him at 11 PM, as he has work in the morning.

Anyway, I went to the airport to pick my friend, got her to her place around 5 AM, then I had a problem, I wasn't due at home till 8 AM, what should I do with these 3 hours?

I started driving around in circles, then I stopped by a young police officer in Lebanon square, mohandesseen, and the following conversation started:

Me: Is it ok if I park and sleep in my car or is it illegal?
Officer: Sure, no problem, where are you from?
Me: Mohandesseen
Officer: Why do you need to sleep in the car?
Me: Long story
Officer: Why don't you park and come have a chat with me?
Me: Ok

I parked there, walked over, we had a couple of smokes, and I told him my story and why I couldn't go home right away, the guy goes "Well, my shift's over, let's go for some coffee somewhere"

He invited me for a coffee at on the run, we kept on speaking of life in Egypt, what it's like, then I drove him to the police station and went home.

And I think of this strange thing, how come this guy was so interested, the time passed like it was riding a hornet, I can only say one thing, what goes around, comes around, just when I was thinking I'm all alone, having left all of my friends, with nowhere to go for the night, God sent me this man to pass the night and learn about myself what I never knew before.

Strange how the world operates, each day I look at it, and I see the harmony in things, what we thought was chaos, was in fact the perfect harmony, I'm babbling again, have a good day everyone.

The Awakening

2008-11-14T19:06:00.000+02:00

I'm glad to announce that my first week without friends has passed, strangely enough, I haven't looked back, neither have they.

Tomorrow will be a long day, that will end - hopefully - in the return of the last one I have to remind me of what I am, not what I pretend to be.

I don't know how I feel about it, I'm happy she's coming back, but I also dread it, I'm not used to showing my emotions in real, I usually do my best to suppress them, but with what's going on, it's difficult to wear the cold face, it's queer really, when you're used to be around for someone, you find it difficult to accept the fact that now you need them to be around for you.

I'm not weak, it's just that this time I feel utterly alone, I've been with this group of so-called friends for almost 14 years now, so when I had to split away, I don't know what to do, over the week, I manage to indulge myself at work, working long hours so I go home to sleep, but the weekend is a nightmare, we used to have coffee every friday morning, for the first time in almost 4 years, this isn't happening, not because someone is away, but because we're no longer there for each other.

We've been split by our own ambitions, my ambition in turning people I care for into what they deserve to be, and my "friend's" ambition to prove to himself that he can do whatever he pleases at anyone's expense, it was a battle of dominance, which I utterly lost.

So now, when the last of us returns tomorrow, I'm afraid of how I'll react, will I be able to preserve being the same person she's known, or has my recent loss gotten to me that I'm no longer fit for human company.

The Queen revokes US Independence

2008-11-11T08:00:00.000+02:00

This was posted on our forum, thought I'd share.

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

(You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

-----------------------

1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,''favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

------------------------

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S.English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

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4.You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist,then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

----------------------

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

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9. The cold, t asteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys.Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

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13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

PS:Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!

Free at last

2008-11-08T22:13:00.000+02:00

Well, dudes and dudettes,

I'm glad to announce that I've finally gotten rid of the most parasitic person who ever existed.

That was supposed to be my best friend, he'd stabbed me in the back once too often.

First, transmitting stuff about me that was said in confidence, then hitting on someone very dear to me, and today, the final straw.

I was informed today that I spend my time in the company of prostitutes, and that I'm in debt to this "Friend" of mine cause of this.

Now that is a piece of info I never knew, and it crosses the last line, so, he's out.

I'm now a free man, the last link to my past has been torn and may it never re-establish itself.

Brick Walls, I can't breath anymore

2008-11-08T01:24:00.000+02:00

Here's the story in a nut shell, my circle of people consists of the following group.

1. Someone who'll do anything to get whatever they want in life, even stepping on their closest friends.
2. Someone who thinks they can handle themselves with anything life throws at them, when in fact, they're as vulnerable as a new born cat.
3. Someone who'll get upset about anything that clashes with what they believe.
4. Someone who's had a bad experience and won't let themselves try and let anyone else have a go.

Now, here's how they interact:

A. We have (1) making passes at (2), when failing, tries to turn me against (2).
B. (2) despises (1), and they're right.
C. (1) pulls (3's) leg by indulging in provocative conversations, (3) demands (1's) head in return.
D. (4) is just unsure what they want to do, which makes life difficult to everyone.

Now, here's the usual conversation:

1. Thinks you over-react.
2. Tells you you think too much.
3. Tells you you're far too lenient.
4. Tells you you deserve a better life.

With me in the middle trying to keep everyone happy, and I'm tired of it, I'm pushing 4 walls that are closing in on me.

FFS, why can't I be as happy as everyone else, is this a crime?!!

Needful Things (Not the book, just inspired by the name)

2008-11-05T21:27:00.000+02:00

I started reading a book recently called Needful Things, by Stephen King, I must admit of being guilty of postponing reading for this guy for a long, it's the first time I read for him, anyway this post is not about the book, it's about, what's the thing you need most right now, just one thing though??

I'll begin with myself:

1. I missed the lunch break call today, better get used to it.
2. I'm in bad need of a massage, nothing sexual about it, just honestly "Me7tag atar2a3 dahry"

See, I couldn't even follow my own rule, I want 2 things.

What do you want people?!!!

The Promotion

2008-11-04T21:19:00.000+02:00

For the last couple of weeks, I'd been handling some stuff for other offices, for those who care to know, I'm a financial analyst, so basically my job is about budgeting company's activity, converting them into numbers, and analyzing actual figures to see if there's room for improvement.

Anyway, as I mentioned earlier, I was being involved with other offices budget preparation, basically through advising them on what methods to use and challenging their figures.

Today, to my surprise, I received an e-mail from the regional finance director, that the regional analyst had left the company and I'm to take over his responsibilities, that's 22 offices.

No title, I'm still only Egypt's Senior Analyst, but I see this as a good opportunity, particularly that I just joined this company 7 weeks ago, which probably means they're impressed.

So, drinks on the house dudes and dudettes:D

Ooooppppsssss!!!!

2008-10-31T09:50:00.000+02:00

Ok, so here's the situation, I went out with a very dear and old friend yesterday evening, forgot to get some money from the ATM, she was kind enough to pay, after I drove her home, I stopped by the bank to withdraw some cash out of the ATM machine.

Now, for those who don't know, I've just changed jobs and they insist on transferring payrolls to a bank I don't deal with, so they opened me an account, I received the ATM card last sunday, so yesterday was the first try with this bank.

Ok, enter pincode, pincode entered, card jumps out in my face, "We're sorry, no options available for your card".

I call them up today, they tell me the following:

Customer Service (CS) : "Sorry Sir, but since you sent a runner to pick up your card, we de-activated it first".
Me: "Ok, now can you re-activate it?"
CS: "You need to show up at the branch to do that"
Me: "Where's your branch"
CS: "It opens up on Sunday 8:30 AM"
Me: "Couldn't you have told me about it earlier, it's friday, how am I to make it through the weekend with 10 EGP in my wallet?"
CS: "I apologize, nothing we can do about it"

.... The rest has been monitored as this page is not rated as XXX.

So, here I am at 10 AM, with 10 EGP through the weekend, just borrowed some money from my dad, which is something I don't like.

Don't you love our banking system?!