Absent-mindedness

Nothing can clear the mind more than remembering funny stuff, your's and others'.

Today I speak of absent-mindedness I've either experienced or encountered along the way.

I. Ma3aki walla3a?

About a month ago, I was meeting a friend of mine, we had lunch, then went to a coffee shop for some coffee and some nice chit-chat.

I wanted to light a smoke, couldn't find my lighter:

Me: ma3aki walla3a?

Friend: ** fidling with a piece of paper to make a small boat** "ah"

For about 10 minutes I kept watching her make that boat, then she turns around.

Friend: ah, enta 3ayez walla3a!!!

II. Meen di?

2 weeks ago, I was meeting a friend, we went into a coffee shop, I needed to go to the bathroom, so she walked over to the counter to order till I returned.

Anyway, I went to the loo, did my thing, came back, while looking around, I noticed a girl who looked familiar standing on the counter to order some stuff.

Now, where have I seen this one before, maybe she works with me, a friend's friend, perhaps I'm just imagining things and I don't know this one at all.

It suddenly dawned on me, that's my friend who was ordering stuff for us while I'm answering nature's call.

III. ettafa2na 3ala kolle el tafaseel.

About 3 years ago, I used to play an online game, I'd been saving up to get myself a full fleet of battleships, when someone decided I was a worthy target and destroyed them all.

Anyway, I went to bed, was awoken about 30 minutes later by a friend who wanted to let me know that she'd broken up with her bf.

She'd left him cause he was a very active liar, she kept on talking and talking, when I suddenly fell asleep in a swoon, I dreamt of my destroyed battleships, while still talking to her, the following conversation ensued:

Me: I've agreed with my parents that I'm moving out.

Her: And they agreed?

Me: Yep, we've agreed on all the details.

Her: What details?

Me: You know, when I leave, how I'll live, how many ships will be used to move my furniture.

Her: WHAT?!!!!!!??

Me: **Waking up** What did I just say??!!!!

Her: You told me you were moving your furniture on ships, I just left my bf cause he's a liar and I come across a bigger one now.

Needless to say I never heard from her again.

IV. Fein el telephone??!!!!!

A friend of mine was driving us to Maadi on the courniche, the streets were empty and he was speeding, now this friend of mine is not the multi-tasking type at all.

Anyway, he had a phone call and was smoking while driving, he finished the call and finished the cigarette simultaneously.

All of a sudden I found him handing me the cigarette and throwing his phone out of the window, then just continuing our conversation.

I sat stunned for about 10 to 15 seconds, then he suddenly asked me:

Friend: Fein el telephone?

Me: enta rameitoh men el shebak 3and mostashfa el kowwat el mosalla7a.

Friend: **Suddenly hitting the brakes** "ana 3amalt keda tany???"

Me: howwa enta 3amalt keda 2awwalani??

Friend: ah, men sana, rameit el telephone fi el ba7r we 7atteit can beet fi geiby.

This should be it for today, try beating that dudes and dudettes.

Lessons I need to pass on

I sit tonight at home, listening to music, drinking and musing about what life has taught me so far, nothing.

So, I decided to write it down, cause without a drink, I'll never have the courage to say what I want to say.

I've learned that you get warned a couple of times, venture too far and danger will descend from above.

I've learned that you never have anything to do about how life treats you, all you can do is accept it, with acceptance, things get better.

I've learned that what people think of you only matters to your ego, but not to your true self.

I've also found out that life is but a sentence of imprisonment followed by execution.

Most importantly, I've found that you are what you believe yourself to be, believe too much and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, never ever fulfill it.

Do what's good for you, or you're not good for anybody.

One last thing, never ever be sceptic of a gift, accept it as is, turning it down is worse than tucking it in your closet, cause you've let someone down, someone who tried to make you happy, but was turned down with his gift.

Don't ever assume you know everything, everyone knows something, the something someone else knows, might be new to you.

I've paid the price for my arrogance, when will you see it fit to ordain my debt paid, I can't pay anymore.

Just lovely

Sitting at Cilantro mohandesseen, I'm currently watching a scene that always annoyed me, a 25 year old guy exercising his charm on a 17 year old kid.

I see the look in both eyes, and it's like telepathy, the girl is fascinated, the guy had the hungry wolf look.

This is an accident waiting to happen, she stands no chance against this one.

Well, I know that you're all gonna say, she knows what she's doing, she's master of her own fate.

But, this is one of the few things I respect about foreign countries, anywhere that's not Egypt, this pedophile would be prosecuted by now.

Ah, the ironies of life, I sit here and watch what I used to do long ago and I resent it, who knows how many I hurt along the way before I was awakened and could no longer do that willingly.

I'm really tempted to walk over to them, the guy represents everything I've ever hated, ever resented and everything I've tried to break but failed.

The arrogance, hunger and gluttony in that look will haunt me for a while, and I'll always remember this look.

Budget 5th Run!!!!

Now, I'm really pissed, having to wait till the last moment before they review the budget, now they just want better results.

I mean, I raised the red flag last month, what more early warnings do they need to make up their minds on where they want it to go????

Ok, today I wait for the latest figures, ETA 11:30 PM, when my deadline was yesterday, I can't believe that for the first time, I had to send an apology to HQ telling them that management are still sceptic of the figures.

I hate to look bad with the talk of promotion lurking in the air.

Do your jobs, damn it!!!!!!

Deadline Watchers

I hate those, I'm usually on or ahead of schedule, really pisses me off to have to deal with deadline watchers.

Take the last 2 days for example, these sorry asses have had almost 2 months to prepare the budget, but how come?

Hell, no, let's cram this nerd in finance, let's just send him the data he needs 1 day before his deadline.

So now, I've been working none-stop for 2 days, just so these lame asses can work on the last day, needless to say that everything went wrong, from wrong assumptions to contradicting figures, so I just had to over-ride their figures and replace with my own calculations.

Damn, tomorrow will be a hell of a day with me trying to prove them all wrong and them trying to prove me an arrogant highly over-rated geek.

God help us all when the trend becomes like this in the last 7 companies.........

Devine Intervention

This weekend was full of contradictions, I'll include below excerpts from my personal log.

Thursday, December 11, 2008,

Day 3 of going Cold Turkey on my addiction, I went to work again today, anything is welcome to distract me now, even working while everyone else is enjoying themselves 11 storeys below me is a welcome distraction.

I came home after a long working day, I think I've caught a cold, might have a fever, but I'd rather not take my temperature, than find I have a fever and my father hears word of it, I'll never hear the end of it.

I've instead entered into solitary confinement, I close my door and do nothing, just facing my addiction, it's not physical, it's psychlogical, I need to get rid of this dependence.

Around midnight, I had a good chat with a friend, strange how I've only known this one for less than a week and we clicked really well, I'm finding more comfort in talking to this one, than my old friends.

Friday, December 12, 2008,

Day 4 begins, this will be tougher than usual, my hand strays to the painkiller, but no painkillers for me today, I walk out of the room for a while for fresh air, this room is beginning to look and smell more like a mix of an internal combustion engines and a pig sty.

I go in again, take a look at my phone if anyone's called, nobody, don't know whether to feel good or bad about it, I miss human company, but I must face this alone, no distractions.

Around midnight, same scenario as last night, except this time, I took my temperature, no fever thankfully.

Saturday, December 13, 2008,

I went out early today, I had 2 appointments, plus some errands to do in between.

First, I visited a relative of mine, he's depressed and needs the company, we sat down listening to music and playing chess.

Just as I'm about to leave, I receive a long-dreaded call, my addiction has come to visit me, strange how my whole mood changed, my face lighted up, I'm sure I had a glimmer in my eye.

I kept staring at that phone, unsure what to do, I picked up, and within 1 minute, I was back 8 years in time, there's no addiction, no fear, just pure joy at hearing an old friend's voice.

How could I have been so dumb, just cause things didn't go my way, it doesn't mean it has to be the highway.

There's a lot of history in there, history that I was willing to let go, just cause I was too scared to lose her, I was destroying the same thing I was trying to preserve.

How ironic is that, in my feverish attempts to make sure a life long friendship would last forever, I was going to ruin it.

I don't know if the above sentence made sense, but it's how I saw everything very clearly, suddenly there was no longing, no possessiveness, just pure mutual history and caring, we were just enjoying each other's company.

Have I been such a fool as to try and finish this and consider it a weakness on my side to maintain it??!!!!!

At night, I had a wonderful meeting I'd been looking forward to for a while, and it surpassed my expectations.

So, again, I can say nothing to explain what happenned except 2 words "Devine Intervention".

The best day to fall ill

Is when you have 7 deadlines to meet and you have to work from home, so you're not really off.

I need a break, and I definitely need an assistant

Back to work

Today, I returned to work after a couple of days of well earned rest (Yes, I worked from home on friday and sunday).

I had a lot of reporting to do, which - thankfully enough - was fulfilled within the designated time.

Ofcourse, there was my infamous new haircut, or lack thereof, some were surprised, some didn't recognize me at all.

The best reaction came from the receptionist, the below conversation ensued about 30 minutes after arriving at work, I found this receptionist of ours tapping me on the shoulder.

M: Shamel, you look somewhat different
Slop: Really, how so?
M: Not sure, have you lost weight?
Slop: Yep, I always lose weight when under stress.
M: Cool, you look better that way.

Then aur HR assistant walks in, without taking a second look, she goes "Hey, nice haircut."

So, our receptionist goes, "Ah, so thats's why you look different."

Anyway, this made me laugh all day, really made my day.

That was as pointless as they come dudes and dudettes, I think it's a welcome change.

The booster

Today, I managed to do something I always wanted to do, something came my way that I'd wanted for a long time.

But, I managed to say no to it, it was the right thing to do, not to take the chance when presented.

Not all of it is due to my being righteous, there was that, but there was also the fact that I was dumbstruck.

You know the dog that chases cars all his life, once a car stops infront of him, he doesn't know what to do with it.

It's the chase that attracted the dog, not the car.

Hmmm, either that or I'm the most foolish guy ever born for walking out on this one.

A little musical incident

So, I know it sounds queer, but only recently I've discovered Evanescence, I first heard them by co-incidence on someone's blog, asked a friend what that music was and she told me.

So, today, I decided I'd start listening to them, went to Youtube, looked them up, start with "My Immortal", very touching song, simple form, but touches you deep.

Anyway, here's the funny bit, my mom walked into my room, suddenly she turned around and asked me, "Since when do you listen to Evanescence".

I asked her if she knows them, she said sure, they're good.

Now, I've been closed up for a while, but up to the point where my mom knows more about recent bands than I do, interesting indeed.

I mean I know I'm very ehind on that front, but not this much behind, something needs to be done and fast, can someone recommend some other things to listen to??

The sideliner

Now he waits, the sideliner is the man left on the sideline, usually he's not involved in anything, is always kept in the dark.

Today, I am that man, kept on the sideline, very blind, can do nothing but wait and pray.

I keep looking at that phone, begging it to ring, pray for me.

10 years later, and here we go again

Lol, ok, I'm not the sort of person who values personal appearance a lot, as long as you're clean, don't smell and are not wearing green shoes to match red striped pants and dark brown hawaii shirt while smoking a cigar, you should be ok, same goes for my personal appearance.

What I do mind is how people think of me as a person, this is where I do my best to be as refined as possible. Anyway, this is not what I'm here to talk about today, the week was not as bad as last week, started very turbulently, as usual there were points to define the week, landmarks to remember this week by.

There was my birthday outing, but this was discussed in detail earlier.

Primarily I made a promise to someone to not let my anticipation of what people think, affect my decisions, I was the sort of person who'd walk into a shop, asks the price of something, then is too emarassed to say it's too expensive, I buy it anyway, then corner myself to the end of the month, not happenning again I guess.

The other thing is, I did it again, I've shaved my head, someone commented that I'd look better in shorter hair, I wanted to prove her wrong, guess what, I think I was right, long hair fits my face better, everyone else seems to think otherwise.

I'm unaccustomed to the shape of my cranium, you know, I feel like this head is not mine, it looks like an alien's head, also my nose looks much bigger now. I do look a bit aggressive though, which is a contrast to my usually mild looking self.

Hmmm, if I get used to how I look, I might actually keep it, I'll decide when it grows back, but for now, I'm happy I'm attempting to change, even if it's just looks.

Drained

You know, I'm pretty much drained, I think too much of many unrelated things, I try to relate them to each other.

It's like my thoughts are a flock of sheep, with me as the herder, You chase one, another two move out in two random directions, you can never account for all of them.

I used to find solace in long working hours followed by an exhausted sleep, not anymore, my mind keeps straying, I wanna be in multiple places simultaneously, I need to finish my work cause I'm needed somewhere else, so I'm not finishing my job as needed, which leaves me even more drained when I go next day to find that the load will increase cause I didn't get eveything done right on the first time.

Even sleeping has become a problem for me, these dreams, I'm not the sort of person who'll dream of nightmarish creatures, but my worst mightmares are usually associated with unexpected bad findings, the stuff only a sick mind like mine can imagine.

Someone commented that I'm unable to focus for the last week or so, it's very true, I never had that issue before, we'd start a conversation and mid-way I'd forget what we're talking about, yesterday my mom asked me if I wanted to have supper, I kept staring at her till she actually screamed at me "SHAMEL, SUPPER?????"

I know it annoys people, but I can't help it, my mind is wandering off in the darkest recesses of my memories.

Yesterday a friend caught me speaking to myself while driving, I had remembered an old conversation, about 6 years old, and I suddenly started repeating what I'd said and correcting my answers.

While I was driving home tonight, it suddenly struck me that I've never broken up with my ex, we suddenly stopped speaking, I was 23 at the time, I had just graduated, was too busy with work, all I remember is that I started working in July, she stopped calling me in September, I noticed in February, when I did call her, she'd already given up and gotten engaged, not that I blame her.

That's the price I paid for trying to make up ground on the career front.

When I come to think of it, maybe it's for the best, since it was obviously doomed anyway, but I think I'm the only guy to forget he has a gf, lol.

I've let a lot of people down in my younger days, maybe that's what's driving me now, I don't want to let people down again, most of all, I no longer want to let myself down.